The Power to be Unnatural | Rabbi Joey Haber

I want to tell you the requirement between how to have an incredible relationship between man and man. The Pasuk says, Love your friend like yourself, I am Hashem. What does it mean ‘I am Hashem’? What does it have to do with anything? The answer is: The only way you could love your friend like yourself is if you are able to be unnatural. Sometimes he insults you. You don't insult back. Sometimes he didn't give to you and you have to not give back. Sometimes you have to help someone that you don't even love so much. These are all actual Mitzvot in the Torah. ‘I am Hashem’ means you have to leave it up to me. If it's up to you, then if he hurt you, you want to hurt him back, and if he didn't give you, you want to not give him back, but if it’s up to Hashem, it's not my business to decide how he gets paid back. I have to be unnatural. Let me give you an incredible story. There was once a Bochur who came to take a test in Philadelphia Yeshiva with the Gadol Hador, R’ Elya Svei. And he was a Chasidishe Bochur, he was coming for 10th grade, and he had learned Chulin the year before. R’ Elya asked him: Which chapter did you learn? And the Bochur’s father was there, and there are two chapters in Chulin, it’s הכל שוחטין and השוחט. So the father said he's learned הכל שוחטין. The reality was that he had learned השוחט. So R’ Elya Svei says: Okay, you learned הכל שוחטין. Let me give you a test. And R’ Elya proceeds to give this Bochur a test on the chapter of הכל שוחטין, and the Bochur didn't know anything, because he didn't learn it. The test ended, and R’ Elya calls in the father and he says: I just want to tell you, I know you said your son is wonderful, but I just tested him. He didn't know one thing. So now the father and the Bochur are driving home. The father asks his son, He says: Son, you didn't know anything? R’ Elya said you didn’t know anything. His son said: Ta, listen. Here's the story. The story is that I learned השוחט, and he tested me on הכל שוחטין. The father says: Oh, one second. That's because I told him הכל שוחטין. I made a mistake. Why didn't you correct me? The son said, I'm going to correct my father in front of the Gadol Hador? My father says הכל שוחטין, I’m going to take a test on הכל שוחטין. The father called R’ Elya Svei when he got home. He says: Rosh Yeshiva, I just want the Rosh Yeshiva to know the story of what happened. The Rosh Yeshiva said: Your son gave up the potential of his whole future for honoring one’s parents? That is not a normal thing. He is accepted on the spot. Philadelphia Yeshiva is one of the hardest Yeshivas to get in in the world. Accepted on the spot. Because you have the ability to be unnatural. Natural society will tell you that if there's something to see, you should turn your head and see it. But the beauty of us, what makes us us, the power that makes us us, is the ability to be unnatural. That's what creates incredible relationships. It’s what creates a great relationship with your parents, with your siblings, with your children and with your spouse. And what creates an incredible relationship with Hashem. So next time you're walking in the street and a normal person, so to speak, would turn their head, you need remember, I am Hashem and my expectations from you are that you have the power and you have the strength to be unnatural.