We Are All Addicts Trying to Escape Self-Consciousness

the yeshiva dotnet so welcome everybody and I want to thank you for the privilege of inviting me to such an important evening and an important event I'm sure you'll hear more about this special center of recovery in the Holy Land the way I got involved with this was a very close friend who has two children who both fell prey to the calamity and disease of addiction and did not have the funds to be able to find an appropriate center of recovery some of them are great some of them are lousy some of them are okay some of them are horrible some of them are extraordinary but all of them cost a lot of lot a lot of money and in great desperation and yearning he discovered this a-z house in arity Searle and two of his children not one but two of his children experienced tremendous emotional and spiritual and mental growth from the abyss of addiction to the blessings and healings of recovery and the hearing about this from his personal point of view compelled me on an emotional level to be to be part of it I don't know if there's any other Center in Israel is probably not right that takes in addicts on eight month program and literally feeds them and nurtures them mom-ish for free so number one it's good for people to have awareness people have children nephews nieces cousins friends relatives community members sometimes you see posts you see emails it's important for people to be educated about alternatives and the possibilities for hope for healing and for recovery which brings us of course to a much larger issue it's not a larger issue it's all part of the same issue and that is our attitude towards addiction and recovery and I want to with your permission but address that for a few a few moments I'm gonna start off with a story about the baal shem tov it's a very strange story but I think the story contains profound relevant depth on this topic I heard this story from one of my teachers his name is your boy al Khan I heard it from him many many years ago I was a young boxer I was a young man a student of Shiva's student I didn't really understand it at the time I was amused by the story I thought it was charming and strange I didn't understand it today I probably still don't understand it but I think I understand it a little better and he taught it told us that there was a tradition among Hassidim that the baal shem tov used to davon he would pray for very long hours and there was a fellow who would come every day or almost every day to observe the darling of the baal shem tov now this fellow was not a disciple he was not a student he was not a faucet he was not a learner Julie was not a simple Jew he was actually what we would call today an addict and he was an addict to alcoholism he wasn't just somebody who said look I am from time to time he was an alcoholic in the fullest sense of the word which by the way also applies to people who say look I am from time to time they just don't call it alcoholism they call it lehayim but that's just often camouflaging a disease which is sad this fellow was a tremendous alcoholic and he would stay there for the praise of the baal shem tov and then when the darvany was over he would go to a bar what they used to call a Kretschmer on in a full-fledged bar in measure bush in the ukraine and he would drink and drink and drink incessantly he was what they called the classic shaker the classic inebriated circuited alcoholic to the point that he was date on a daily basis smashed and stoned till he woke up went back to the bush on to the Avenue and right after that he went to drink and they once asked him what's going on most people when they heard a davon in from the Baal Shem Tov they went to learn after they went to davon themselves they went to do a mitzvah they were inspired to serve Hashem with more enthusiasm this is what you're doing with the Dominique of the Baal Shem Tov what's the meaning of this and the man he said something very profound I can't remember it's many years if he said it or somebody else explained that but this was the explanation every craving in life is finite every tire is finite meaning we all have cravings intense cravings but how big are those cravings they're all limited by definition people are mortal and our cravings are also finite and mortal he said I knew I can go drink I like alcohol but it's gonna be a very limited craving and therefore the satisfaction is always as intense as the craving you all know it especially those who have experienced a little bit addiction in their life that the satisfaction is always as intense as the craving and the promise of it seems so powerful before you do it and then after you do it it's like what's next that tomorrow you need a greater dosage in order to satisfy yet a deeper void and the vicious cycle moves on and here he said something unbelievably profound he says but the Baal Shem Tov is davin Inc touches on the infinite the Baal Shem Tov's darvany touches on the ain't safe the Baal Shem Tov was yearning for the infinite and he was touching the infinite he said ah after that when I go to drink I'm not just looking for a drink the search for the alcohol is so much deeper it's so much more profound it's so much more intense and when I finally get the drink ah Maya and tomorrow I come back for more well this person was saying was really the way I understand that is something very profound addiction is not the problem addiction is the solution what we always have to identify is what's the problem it's very easy to call addiction the problem it's easy he's an addict she's an addict our community is full of addicts the problem of addiction we hear more different and we hear every day about that's the problem of course I know that but that's a very limited perspective and doesn't help us much actually it distracts us from our responsibility you see my dearest friends for the addict addiction is not the problem addiction is the solution addiction is the place where she or she runs to in order to ease the pain in order to numb the anxiety in order to fill the void yes to ease the pain superficially to numb the anxiety in a false way to fill the void in a way that's going to come back to haunt him or her but in his impoverished perception this is my solution this is my Messiah this is my Messiah this is my god just get me into the casino just get me into that website just get me into this club just give me this alcohol just get me this substance I don't have to elaborate on more everybody knows what I'm talking about that's my solution that's my false messiah which may last for five minutes may last for three minutes may last for an hour a few hours it's that high that just allows me to distract myself from who I am and where I am and from my pain that's my solution that's not my problem addiction is the solution you know what we have to talk about what's the problem that's driving him or her to the solution ooh this is a much more difficult question it's easy to curse out addiction and we all know how horrible that is but that's the facade that's his solution now I want to know what's the problem what is eating up inside what is eating him up inside what is the worm what is the disease what are the thoughts what is going on in his psyche what is the problem that is driving this person to the solution for that we have to look deep inside ourselves for that we have to look deep inside our homes for that we have to look deep inside our communities for that we have to look deep inside our owner summers the way we communicate with our children the way we communicate with ourselves the experience that a young generation is getting what is happening in people's lives that is causing them so much untold pain that they are ready to allow themselves to run to this solution which we call the disease of addiction I was once speaking with that rabbi dr. Shi at worst ski Rabbi Abraham torski who is a one of the well-known gurus in the Jewish world in the world of recovery we were together in Boca Raton for a Chaba tone and I asked him and I said Ralph tour by torski you have been 60 years in this field what did you learn in 60 years you know he smiled what's that Tom was like the convertor comes to Hillel wants to learn the whole tire on one foot I said I'm not asking for everything I'm just asking something meaningful that you learned - 60 years of dealing with addiction and he told me something very very deep and he said 60 years of experience have taught me that the addict among us are usually the most spiritual and most sensitive we often look at them and say the dregs of society he said it's the contrary everyone has pain in life everybody experiences pain but many people just know how to dismiss the pain everyone experiences hypocrisy not everybody but many people a lot of people experience lies toxicity abuse dysfunction to one degree or another but many people know how to just gloss over it and distract themselves in easy ways but those who are the most spiritual among us and the most sensitive among us their needs are so much deeper because they need truth they need to be really really connected and when they don't have that that void is so much more accentuated it's so much more powerful it's so much more painful they can just ignore it they're too sensitive what others don't feel so deeply penetrates them to their deepest core what others could just ignore they can't they just can't live with it and the anxiety become so overwhelming they have to take extreme measures in order to give themselves just a few minutes of calmness a few minutes of tranquility it's because of the depth of their spirituality that for them to fill the void takes much much more because the void is so much more acute the void is much more powerful and I think what he was really saying and I think this is really true is and I hope this comes out nicely but won't come out that nicely but I hope it comes out fine is we look at certain people those are the addicts they need a home we're all addicts we're all addicts who sitting in this room doesn't have a void who within us who who doesn't suffer from some type of anxiety who is not dealing with stress who is not dealing with something disturbing in your life I can't say all of us but but many of us and even those who are successful and live productive lives there are profound voids that we have and we try to escape them and one of the greatest voids one of the greatest voids is what the Baal Shem Tov and his students would call the void that's created as a result of self consciousness which was born right after other men hava ate from the tree of knowledge what does it mean a tree of knowledge what did they get to know they got to become self conscious before they ate from the tree they were very conscious but they would divine conscious meaning they saw themselves as part of infinity that's why they can walk around naked and not feel weird because if you're a manifestation of Hashem in this world what's the problem with walking around without clothes I'm not embarrassed by my pinky why should I be embarrassed with any other part of my body on my arm I put on tefillin why should I be embarrassed with my arm when I'm wearing it to fill it why should I be embarrassed with any other part of my body if it's just a manifestation of godliness in this world what happened when they ate from the tree of das is they became self-aware they became self-conscious so what's the first question Hashem asks other men hava i eka where are you why didn't they have this question before because somehow no animal has this question no tree wakes up in the morning all the trees go to sleep now they're not like us we have night life tree fir trees follow God's rhythm of nature the birds are sleeping everybody is sloughing now nobody wakes up in the morning and like Who am I why am I to piddle or not to piddle that is the question why am I not a cat why am I not a frog they're just part of the symphony of creation humanities from the moment of the 8th saw das became self-conscious I'm always looking where I fit in do I fit in I come to a wedding I come to a Bar Mitzvah can I just melt away smoothly and easily and be part of the experience I come into a class can I just sit there and not even feel myself I teach for many many years one of the things that drives me crazy is that when somebody walks in everybody turns around I could be saying the most mesmerizing story but everybody turns around you want to come in and you will see everybody turns around it's like I become self-conscious the poor person who walks in I just become self-conscious but the only seat is in the front so now he has to walk to the front and he's sitting here for the rest of the hour and I'm looking at him the guy can't even hear a word I'm saying because he's thinking about where he or she fits in into life this feeling of self-consciousness accompanies us everywhere who am i what am i what am i feeling what am I not feeling do you like me don't you like me am i angry am I not angry am i secure I'm and I insecure whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa before they say das the I was just part of the divine ah he was all good but now I'm trying to invest in an ego that doesn't really exist cause ego means easing God out and I'm trying to find a place for something that doesn't exist so God says uh eka and at that moment man went into therapy for the last five thousand years and we're still trying to experience some type of recovery we're still trying to heal the light of mushiya the light of gula that's filling the world now is the light of recovery what's recovery what's the problem with addiction the problem was addiction is it distracts me from my self consciousness but it doesn't help me go above my self consciousness it just distracts me that's for a few moments I shouldn't feel the pain by literally numbing numbing it what's the real recovery the real recovery is when I reach a space where I transcend my self-consciousness by really discovering that that self is just a channel for infinity in the world and people who are more sensitive to this truth feel this void of self-consciousness more than everybody else they can't ignore it the iPhone doesn't work for them for all of us we go in an elevator instead of looking at people and saying hi how are you you right away take out your phone right whenever you're distracted for a moment you're feeling anxiety we have immediately something to ease the anxiety but people who are more sensitive and people who are more refused and people who are more acute with the void that exists in the entire cosmos since the eight sadhus they just need so much more especially if they experienced abuse and dysfunction especially if they experienced trauma especially of the messages they heard in their youth really play with their soul and their heart and now there's two different worlds that come together in them a world of idealism and a world of corruption and they mama don't know how to find themselves so they take drastic measures to just numb that pain for a few moments and the only way we as a community can confront Isis is if we can acknowledge that what they're experiencing is just an exaggeration of what all of us are experiencing and then I can tune into this person I can be there with this person and for that person this alcoholic he wanted the Baal Shem Tov's darvany in fact he was feeding off the Baal Shem Tov's governing he was feeding all of that infinite Questor from the Baal Shem Tov is what was really igniting him just he didn't know how to davon he didn't know how to connect to infinity the Baal Shem Tov knew had a melt away in infinity and daven that's why the Baal Shem Tov came to the world to teach us how to heal from the ate sawdust to be able to look at God and say iyyaka where are you I'm right here with you that's where I am instead other marushin started to give a whole pill pole that I ate then I went in hiding and I'm hiding and everybody is hiding but this never this shikre didn't know how to do that so he takes the search of the Baal Shem Tov and what does he do with it he goes to the bar he goes to drink which really means that addiction is the solution and the problem is much much much deeper which also is telling us something very powerful and that is we have to speak about recovery we have to speak about centers of recovery but we have to speak about something else and that is preventive medicine what are the most powerful things you can do in your home in your family in your community that will help people not end up in this abyss for starters for starters once people are struggling with it we have to create conversation about it somebody mentioned before the distillers around this are very very profound to the point that so many people are afraid to open up they're afraid to get help and if they often will speak to somebody people are uneducated will judge them and sometimes cast them further into the abyss some people live in hiding for decades I get emails on a daily basis people who are prominent people in their communities but they suffer terribly on the outside they're functional they're prominent there distinct they're distinctly distinguished people on the inside they're rotting away they don't have who to talk to and I see how scared they are they're sending me an email I don't even know who they are but they'll never sign they're some of them do some many of them don't sign their name they can't even trust a person in the email sometimes it takes correspondence of six months until the guy says by the way the email address is fake I just made this address for you and the signature is fake and let me tell you who you are and what pains me is Wow if this person is afraid of sending it's from his email how much shame how much shame engulfs such a person two stigmas are so powerful when we can't talk about things in a real way in an authentic way how many people just end up in the pit of depression with nobody to address their true angst their true problems what about preventive medicine I want to say three things that I think are very very important and people often ignore them number one don't wait till your children are teenagers and are exposed to these types of influences you need to create an environment in your home of profound emotional bonding profound emotional bonding there's nothing more important today for Jewish fathers and mothers than to bond emotionally with their children at the youngest age whatever that means whether it's going for pizza or it's sitting on the floor playing Monopoly or playing risk or playing chess throwing frisbees are going swimming going hiking or reading a book Lulla have the learning together for bringing together schmoozing together going for ice cream together listening being attentive but fathers need to be emotionally connected to their children at the youngest of age there should be conversation there should be an expression of emotion family dinners must happen people have to come home and get rid of their phones and sit around the table with their children even if fifteen minutes talk listen share experiences all statistics and research has shown that children who grow up in such a home with such bonding in such an environment the likelihood for them to fall prey to horrible horrible influences which can destroy them emotionally physically and mentally and get them into addiction the likelihood of that is diminished by serious serious percentages these are critical critical messages today don't wait till he's 16 don't wait till she's 17 at the youngest of age you spend time this is the most important important thing to create an atmosphere of bonding that is very deep you should have a relationship with them because children who have that protection are protected in the real world I said on Shabbos that when there was somebody who was found dead in the field the members the sages of the Sanhedrin and the sages of that city would come and they would bring a special offering known as the egg la Ruffa and the sages the elders would say your de NOLA chef who has Adam Haase our hands did not spill this blood we're not responsible for the murder sera she says did anybody think that the chief rabbi murdered this person he's saying I didn't do it we didn't do it so rashly says it doesn't mean everybody knows they didn't murder him they said we didn't allow him to leave this city without feeding him we didn't allow him to leave this city without giving him a drink we didn't allow him to leave our homes without escorting him the question is how would that help let's say you did let's see it didn't the guy was killed outside in the wilderness so if I escorted him I'm not responsible if I didn't escort him I am responsible what does it have to do some murderer found his poor Jew and killed him how is escorting him out of my home going to contribute to this one way or another way it's a good thing to escort somebody but that's not the determining factor of the death and if I did escort him I'm innocent than if I didn't I'm guilty and the answer is and it's a very profound answer think about it psychologically and emotionally with abuse abusers and I know there are people sitting in this room when all this very well abusers don't abuse any kid they make sure to find the right child if this Jew came to my house and I gave him to eat and I gave him to drink and I escorted him and I gave him his dignity that abuser may look the other way and say you know what this kid I'm not starting up with that murderer identifies he knows somebody who's gonna fight back he knows somebody who has dignity he knows somebody who has faults he knows somebody who will speak up he knows somebody who will not go down easy and the murderer says you know what let's go to somebody else those bullies those abusers identify the victim very very well when I fortify my child and I give him these resources even when he comes across that psychological murderer I'm not talking a murderer physically hospital don't a murderer emotionally or spiritually ecologically when he is fortified it's a different story how do children get fortified we have to fortify them you got to give them that dignity that Stolz that emotional connection that feeling that you're loved that your value is non-negotiable that you're loved unconditional that your preciousness in the eyes of God is infinite and even if you make mistakes there is nothing that can destroy that preciousness which is I once heard from the lubavitcher rebbe why is the last shear that Jakov gave Yosef what was it about egg la Ruffa and that's how Yosef proved the Yaakov that he's alive why was that the last year six hundred and thirty minutes Yaakov couldn't shoe something else besides egg la Ruffa so you'll say well Yaakov didn't know but the harsh go canoe the answer is Yaakov was giving yes of this message unconsciously Yosef you're gonna go to dark places but you have been fortified you have been fortified that's what it means that when he saw played T for his wife and she wanted him to violate her and be with her what did he see in the window you remember the image of Yaakov what image did he see well there was a poster what CNN in Egypt was interviewing Yaakov Aveeno we did he see an image of Yaakov in the window he saw the image of Yaakov he had a father he had a father who fortified him he could look at her and say no I will not fall prey to this abyss I will not be part of this when the ice have told you a cliff I remember the shear of egg la Ruffa but the heroic of avium Yaakov came to life it's all he had to hear to know that 22 years later his son Yosef was aligned that's all yet there he didn't have to do rushes to pull him messages whatsapp's no all yet the air his father I remember the shear of egg la Ruffa that's it but the Peru a vehicle if that's what the person says my Yaris I'll go boys he saw the egg la Ruffa but the theory of Yakima VM came to life that's our duty today that's our obligation today with our students with our friends with our nephews with our nieces with our cousins with our communities with our disciples and of course with our siblings and certainly with our beloved children and with our beloved grandchildren it's number one number two as your children are growing up you got to be present you mama SH have to be present it's very nice to be liberal and say my children are responsible they can have this they can have that you have to be present and an appropriate and sensitive way at the right age you have to speak to every one of your children about the challenges that they may encounter inside themselves and outside of themselves in the right time the right person in the right way appropriate to this child because we live in a dangerous world and even if you live in a ghetto in muncie and the school gets a signature from every parent that nobody has an iphone because you have two phones according to the minute and everything looks perfectly safe I promise you that there's one kid in that class who knows more than me about this and I'm not that naive how do I know this I know this for my own children and all this for many other children who come to me at the age of 21 I said when do you find out about all of this 5th grade really 5th grade of course for who oh boy in the class and this is in the best communities most holy sacred religious communities in Muncie Borough Park Lakewood Williamsburg mayor are in Bnei Brak beautiful holy communities you got to be connected to your kids speak to them listen to them see what's going on don't let them cruise through the waters of life independently not just enough to fortify them and say you go you be present speak communicate but the only way you could speak to your children is if they feel connected to you don't sever those cords not in younger ages and not on all their ages and then finally the third component is parents need to be emotionally healthy when your marriage is in the dumps and when your dysfunctional yourself your children will pick up on it consciously or subconsciously and they will act out based on that I cannot make my kids happy I could make myself happy I cannot protect my children from everything but I can create a home that is filled with love and trust and camaraderie when fathers and mothers are killing each other hollering at each other insulting each other denigrating each other even if it's a cold war like Russia and America and the good doesn't I want to say the good old days but like Russian American the old days maybe soon if there's a cold war in the house if Tati is this way and mommy is this way and the kids know how to manipulate and exploit the differences between them the environment is not holistic we must work on ourselves don't educate your children educate yourself and then by osmosis you can transfer that to their to your children this is critical which comes with one final point and that is don't be afraid of disciplining your children in a loving way what happened was these two streams of fourth and they're both destructive some of us grew up in environments and schools where we were beaten me personally I was not but a lot of you grew up in places where you were asked there was one biog noses for all kids there was an ad DPD da da she was one that's called for asked here for asking there it healed some of them it destroyed some of them there was even this beautiful minute of having your fingers remember together with a stick on the fingers because you weren't pointing some of you are still traumatized from it so what do you decide you decided with your kids you're gonna go to the other extreme and what type of home is it everything is yes yes yes yes yes I'm not judging you but you're not helping your kids because just ask kids who grew up in a boot camp that's oppressive are not safe kids who grew up in a home of permissiveness are also not safe they don't feel that there are boundaries imagine I take my kids I put them on the roof of a building and I say play football until you knock yourselves out I want Akal football only one problem at 60 stories high and there's no fence how much fun will that football game be oh I'm sorry I'm not a parent who creates boundaries I grew up in a school with everybody was oppressing us in my philosophy let freedom ring you're not doing your kids a favor they're gonna be frightened of taking one extra step in this football game never mind reaching the end zone because Khalil Vikas they're looking down what's happening on the other side of the roof if you build a fence um it could run you could kill yourself I don't mean kill yourself you could run and have a great time and knock yourself out why because there are fences good homes have good what do they say good fences good neighbors make but I'm saying good fences good homes make discipline doesn't mean anger discipline doesn't mean impulsiveness discipline doesn't mean trauma discipline doesn't mean abuse discipline means that your kids know there are expert tations your kids know that there are values that you teach in this home your kids know that this home operates on a certain level of consciousness and your kids know that they're not gonna get away with anything else I'm not talking about unique exceptions of children who are struggling with something unique and you have to address it I'm talking on a general level don't be afraid of creating that environment not with anger not with impulsiveness not because you're crazy and very intense and come home in a bad mood but coming out of caring attentiveness thoughtfulness and profound and profound love it's not just enough to address addiction after it happens our main responsibility is to create families and communities schools and homes where there's an environment that nurtures people in a way that they don't have to run through addiction when they're 14 years old when they're 15 years old 16 years old and even if a school is imperfect and there are still a few schools that are imperfect there are still a few homes that are imperfect we have to work very very hard to tune in to those needs of every single child and identify those weak points or that this child when he or she grows up can be fortified on every level not the Halil of a class feel any need to go to addiction I had a conversation the other day with two two young children young a little older than my Mitzvah in my community whose families I know very very well and they had some questions about certain issues with their bodies changing and I spoke to both of them separately and when they finished asking their questions I asked the first one if he's experiencing certain cravings in his body right now and he said they're not much not really okay I said if this and this comes up you can always talk to somebody and this is how you should deal with it then I spoke to the other child another family and the moment I asked him he said of course I experienced in cravings to this I said do you have friends who are addicted to this in this type of material he said oh yeah oh yes I said are you involved in it he said no I said why you don't want to be says no I want to be I want to be but I chose not to I said Wow somebody gave you powerful information you're not judging yourself you're not criticizing yourself you're aware of different experiences that you're having and you're fortified enough to make productive choices how many children don't begin to have any direction and any guidance in anything I'm talking about everything is done clandestinely behind closed doors conjuring up ideas in their own brain based on YouTube or based on friends and fathers mothers mentors healthy teachers are completely in the dark until years later when things spiral out of control it's easy to shove this under the rug don't because when you protect the roots of the tree the seeds before it blossoms into the tree that will translate into all the Leafs and all the fruits when it's still under the ground when it's still beginning beginning to blossom but finally there are all those souls who for whatever reason and ultimately every neshama has its journey have fallen prey to the disease of addiction and they don't even know there's a way out there's mum wish they don't even know there's a way out so the awareness of such a home like a ZZZ home in artists role is so critical and so valuable but I also want to say something else in conclude with this because my time is up and that is we all meet people all day we're all meeting people we meet people face to face and unfortunately we meet many more people through this not face to face I say unfortunately because face to face is a much better meaning but we meet a lot of people through these toys and chats cos we also meet people face to face you'll never know how people are struggling they say the definition of a nudnik is you ask him how you're doing and he actually tells you we have an unwritten rule that when somebody asks you how you're doing you don't give a real answer right well smarter what's marks the ankle washer everything good yeah everything wonderful absolutely yes but try this experiment next time somebody says what's going on okay my mortgage I haven't paid already in two months I'm struggling with a kid going into school and by the way the cleaners just ruined both of my suits my best suits talking about this there's a leak in my bathroom my cleaning lady did not show up my wife is mom is a wreck I also lost my job yesterday and my car is in the mechanic besides the fact the principal called me that my kid can't come by their school at some point the guy is gonna say why do you think I'm interested we meet people all the time we never know what's going on in people's hearts and people's minds don't be stingy with warmth don't be stingy with love in this show you could find two 300 teenagers a day sometimes a hundred sometimes fifty 24 hours a day some of them show up but 1:00 in the morning some of them show up at 5:00 in the morning some of them show up before color cuts is a middle color cut size for the vegetable soup for the cholent on Wednesday for the truant on Sunday for the bagels that come out Monday for the steak that appears on Tuesday for the sushi that come either than others hang around more for the sushi that comes out Thursday morning for the sponge cake and sprinkle cake that come here Friday afternoon 24 hours I say to you not everyone of us can build a home of recovery like these great souls who have a home for free and feed them and nurture them and get them therapy and get them a job and give them a little normalcy and help them discover their neshama their helical account model and dignity but I'll tell you what you and I can do there's 300 teenagers here a day 10 of them say good morning give them a hug if you're uncomfortable with a hug look them in the eyes and say can I be here for you in any way you have a beautiful face your face is shining a good word a vadoma Vaart lift them up embrace them I'm talking to the men I'm also talking to the women everyone has influence don't be stingy with love don't be stingy with warmth don't be stingy with bonding it doesn't cost any money don't be stingy with giving people words of encouragement of hope of inspiration you know today what people have do you have to walk around with seeds and just throw that you know when there's a snow and you walk around with salt and you just throw this salt everywhere everyone today has to have a bag with hundreds of seeds of love just throw them around you know why because a few trees are gonna grow a few trees are gonna grow I hear from people sometimes you know you said this you told me this you came in you said over 20 years later he got his life together because of something I said to him I even forgot that I said it be genuine don't be stingy build people up be ambassadors of love of light of hope of healing of recovery we are ambassadors in this world that's what we are we are here to be ambassadors ambassadors of what ambassadors of the infinite power of each and every individual to live a life of deep and profound oneness with infinity oneness with Hashem to live a life of googler consciousness to live a life of redemption and to congratulate the leaders of this a-z home and all of its supporters and all of its staff and all of those who assist in and will assist it in the future that you should be able to maximize your potential I know now your capacity is only 419 I wish you wouldn't have to have more but unfortunately you still need capacity for much more to be able to grow such homes in such environments where our young boys and girls can find can find hope can find meaning Kazak Kazakh Venise Kazakh thank you very much thank you [Applause]