What Is Pnimiyut HaTorah Addressing?

Good morning everyone. Thank you for coming. We continue to learn this year of Ayeka the learning shmas our dear precious friend and soul sister Dalia who continues to remain so part of so much part of the pulse of the learning the pulse of the shul of everything. And just sending a lot of love and and consolation to Eddie and the children. You feel her presence in the room. Now what we're going to be doing is we are actually going to be finishing this very long hakdamah. It's very long introduction. The Rav Sassoon has been learning Rav Sassoon for the hakdamah for the safer Ayeka. And the pages that you in the safer that you have it's from it's you got to go >> Unnumbered page. >> It's an I know it's that's what's a little bit complicated a little confusing but it starts with the words Al Anu Lehamtin. If you go down a page or two Al Anu Lehamtin and I'm going to explain where we where we starting from today. Where today we're going to wrap up the whole point of the safer. And what we've done until now and what we're kind of jumping over a little bit over here because it's a little bit repetitive which is fine just for us I want us to feel we're going forward. And please God we will start the actual first perek next week. Today we're going to be on today we're going to be going back to the initial question of how does a person answer Ayeka in this world? And I'll give you the end of it already right now. But I want to just for the sake of creating a full picture. But we're going to look at it inside. Rav Sassoon is explaining to us that Ayeka where are you at and what are you personally doing about that question? And how to answer it. That is the tveah that is what this door is asking. I'll give you an example. Last night there was a group here came from Yeshivat What Yeshiva was it? Torah Shraga. You ever heard of Torah Shraga? The Yeshiva Torah Shraga. So a bunch of the the the Yeshiva came here last night. And I wanted to see if like this type of language is something that they could that that could resonate with them. Cuz they're not used to this type of learning. I mean most Yeshivas most of those types of Yeshivas aren't used to that type of learning. So it it sounds very just like you know talking about have you ever like really thought about why why you can't ignore an inner calling? Why do you have an inner calling? Why you Why do you feel that Yeah, everyone in this generation today is discovering wants to discover the real them and they're going to great lengths and doing a lot of different things today to discover what is unique about them. And I saw like you have to be very patient. Slowly slowly and speak about it with the name of with with gentleness and pleasantness that it does resonate with [clears throat] them. It does resonate that these kids today understand that there is something lurking inside of them to discover the real them, but they don't talk about it so much cuz it sounds you know when you're 18 and 19 it doesn't sound that cool. It sounds a little weird to start talking in that language. We already have gone have snapped out of the uh uh you know uncomfort zone of speaking like this. But it is going to happen more and more that Ayeka, the initial question asked of man is going to be a is is appearing by more and more people because every conversation that I'm having with anyone these days is speaking exactly about this. Not just how do I make a parnassa, but what am I supposed to be doing here in this world? What am I supposed What do What do Actually stopping and thinking Hashem, what exactly did you think of me when you thought of putting me in this world? Which is an amazing question that today is a given. Most of us have this question, it was not like this until Mamash I'm not going to give a a time frame, but it's it's now. It's happening now. And the more, like we said, the more distractions that we have in our lives is just a sign that it's the final battle over this. It was funny cuz last night when what what they do with this Yeshiva is that they're all around me and then there's a table where I'm sitting and there was like 130 iPhones on the table. Cuz they tell them all to put their uh their phones on the table. And I said, "Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, look, it's like the only reason the only way I'm going to be able to even talk over here right now is because this is in front of you and it's not This is not in front of you, it's on the table and it's not your fault. Understand, the more distractions, and I quoted this, the more distractions that are presented before us, the harder it is to answer that question of the self-discovery of who I really am. So, you could look at the generation and say nebach, we're in such bad shape because we have so many distractions, or you could tune in with with with with hopefully eyes of Pnimiyus of ears of Pnimiyus and say, "Ah, how do I discover what the greatest goal of today is? Look at what the greatest challenge is of today." And that's how you know. So, instead of getting depressed over it at least there's there's a discovery of, "Oh, this must mean that there's something waiting there's something screaming inside because once a Jew has the ability to begin to answer Ayeka game over for the other side. It has nothing on you. It has nothing on you. So, therefore, Rav Sassona is going to tell us over here that we shouldn't wait. We shouldn't wait until it gets harder and harder to have any peace of mind, to have any sense of direction, any sense of conviction in our Drachim, any sense of getting a a feeling that what I've embarking on is really Shayach to my Shoresh Neshamah. Don't wait. Let's not wait for it because we have medicine before the final makeup. We have medicine today. And we have to make use of this medicine. And he's going to explain today how this all adds up. All right, so on the top of the beginning of this page Alenu. It's not for us. We should not be waiting to see how heavy the all the yoke of distraction can appear is going to be appearing on the hearts. Sorry, I'm changing this already now and I'm going to change it in the system also that it I don't know why it starts off as a freezer already so early in the morning. I'm sorry about this. Yeah. >> Can we Can we dedicate our learning for the wish line of Schwartz? >> Of Schwartz Yisrael Schwartz? Uh that was Uh now I understand. I got a message yesterday to dive in for someone. But then they didn't tell me who it was. The Belvavi. >> Yes, it is. >> That's who it is. Oh, I got a horrible I mean I don't know. One second. I got his name here. Now I understand. Rav Itamar Ben Tova. He's the author of the Belvavi. >> Yes. >> And he had It seems that he had a stroke yesterday. And is in critical condition. We have to talk talk about someone that's given us access to what we're going to be speaking about today. That's just unbelievable. >> Itamar Ben >> To- Tova I think I said. Tova. >> Itamar Ben Tova. >> Okay. Let's Let's try to take the choir we have right now and put it for the for the opening of gates of which is what we're going to be speaking about today. We should not be waiting until things get harder and harder. We shouldn't be waiting to until more and more distractions are in front of us. The sparks the rays of light of people asking for atzmi for finding out who they really are. You could see everywhere. We got to be part of the chevra that present a work present this and an offer >> [snorts] >> first to ourselves obviously, but to the rest of the awakening generation generation that is actually going to invest time in not just figuring out how to become a talmid chacham that knows a lot of information, but people that understand that learning Torah without discovering who I really am, yesh sham ba'aya, there's a problem there. It can only go it can only reach a certain spot, you know? And we have so many teachers today that understand that this this integration of both is vital and necessary. That's why l'chein ra'ui lanu lihiyot mesay'im be'hofa'atah. Now, where is the refuah going to come? The refuah means the removal [snorts] of distractions. Where will it come from in order for us to get a sense of calmness when we meeting meet ourselves? And I and not that there's chalila anything wrong and I myself have participated in what I'm going to say, but we we shouldn't feel the need that only when we go to retreats for a few days, that's where it shows up. The retreats are important to get boosters, but not to set it as that is our only place where we could find answers to these types of questions. Zeh me'od chashuv. So, he says here, where's the refuah? And Tisha says it straight out, third line. Ha'refuah ta'vo mip'tichat sha'arei ha'Torah p'nimit. P'nimiyut ha'Torah. The healing is going to come from there. Because what does p'nimiyut ha'Torah teach us? Ha'melamedet et kiv ha'bakasha. Wow. This is so beautiful. He says, Pnimiut HaTora teaches >> [clears throat] >> a person how precious and valuable their request to discover themselves really is. Some people, you see this in a lot of lyrics of different artists. Like I'm I'm thinking now of like uh Evitar Banai has one song. I'm always scared to become a shuga. Become a shuga from what? To become a shuga from It looks like I'm the only person in the world that's like Everyone has this at a certain point. Am I the only crazy person over here that that is walking around saying, I have everything but yet I'm still not satiated and satisfied. What's wrong with me? Like we spoke about last week. So he's saying over here, Pnimiut HaTora teaches us tiv habakasha how how good >> [clears throat] >> how really filled with goodness it is that bakasha to feel like that. And not that you It's not that you're crazy. You're You're tuned into the greatest channel in the world. That's what Pnimiut HaTora does. Mesaperet lanu et sod atzmiutenu. Pnimiut HaTora teaches us the secret of what makes us us. De potachat befanenu et heichalot haor chambers of light that are right now in us, but they're concealed. Bikach This is amazing. You know, I get asked this question all the time. What is Pnimiut HaTora? It's like these three lines here cover it all. Bikach hi ma'avira lanu Through this it makes it clear to us maim chalomotenu ha'amiti'im what are our real dreams vechisufey omek shebekirbenu and the deepest depths of the longing that we feel inside of us that we're not crazy, that it's good that even though it's maybe painful because you wish you could just be normal like what you think everyone else is like. You know, you think you could be normal just like what everyone else is like. I I had a drive this week with an old friend that I haven't spent a long time for a very long time. And we used to be very very close. Nothing bad happened, just life. He doesn't live around here. And and he has kids, but I have kids. But it happened this week that we had an hour drive together. We we planned it like this. We were going to an event and I said, you know, I'm going to come, put my car by you, then we're going to drive up to there and then we'll come back and I'll take my car from you. And cuz this is in my head, I said to him, tell me tell to get me my shoe. And he's like, "Lama gam ata?" Right away, you know. >> [laughter] >> I'm like, "Yeah, but listen, let's let's unpack this, right?" I said [clears throat] to him, "Tell me something. You are a He's an artist, of course. You're an artist. And he hasn't really made it. He hasn't really made it, right? The way that like artists would say making it. I said to him, "You're married with a few children. Tell me something, the fact that you have relative showman bias and that there's enough parnassah in the house to get by, but you don't live large. Does it drive you crazy and do you feel like you're a failure because you're not content with your life?" So he said, uh he said, "Absolutely, yeah. Yeah, but I've just felt guilty to say that out loud." I'm like, "Why? You didn't say that out loud. I I said that out loud for you, but now you're welcome to say it out loud. Let's discuss why." And we were talking about the fact that an artist, no matter how much success they have, their metziyut, their atzmi, what makes them them, is creativity. And it's not be it's you're not able to look at one of your creations and just look at it and be like, "Wow. Wow." for more than just a few minutes cuz you have a drive to do much more, much much more. So that's true, but galui, like in a revealed manner by actual artists. They're like this, they're driven like this. But each of us are artists in this door. Because to be able to drop the the Kaylim to hear Ayeka and then begin to compose an answer, you have to be an amazing artist. And and we all are. All of us. No matter what we're doing, we all are. But understand something. The art the the art of creativity has a little bit of this like other piece that we're not so happy with it. And that's that it doesn't really leave us with the ability to chill. Because my what's next? What's next? So, the the the way that Rav Sasson is addressing now this whole Inyan of answering Ayeka is like through Pnimiyus haTorah, what we'll see is when you're more when you're more in touch with the beauty of your drive as opposed to the meshugas of your drive, that's that's the healthiest way forward. The healthiest way forward. It's actually in like harmony. Mamish harmony. >> Can you say that again? >> [clears throat] >> No. Absolutely not. It makes it clear to us what our real dreams are and why we long for what we long for. It's from these dreams and yearnings and longings actually real happiness that you really want will only come through this. And you could say to yourself, how could happiness come from this? Happiness is something like happiness should should should always mean I have something. And here I'm I'm saying no, the world that I'm tuning into is I have something and I don't have it. And that's got from that Osher will come? Yes. Real happiness will come from there. Let me just finish the line and we'll we'll go there. A chirus v'ha chofesh amiti, which is what this book is really all about, freedom, real freedom. Real chirus v'ha chofesh, v'chol ha'osher v'ha'mili'us, all riches and things that really fill us. And the true simcha of life will appear, the type of simcha, the type of happiness of life that this dor needs. This generation needs. >> [snorts] >> It seems to me that this generation the level of simchas ha'osher and simchas ha'chaim mitbakashes b'doreinu, the simcha of life that's being asked in our generation is more chazak than it ever was before. Mamash. Cuz people really seem to be a little bit more content with much less back in the day. Now, back in the day means any other day besides this this generation. You also understand that all the cheap imitation and substitutes for satiation of the soul einan mevi'os l'adam es ushro, they do not bring man or woman to their true happiness. Ela lahefech. On the contrary, all the cheap imitations, meroknos, you know what that means? It empties out es me'at ha'ruach, the little bit of spirit she'od nosra b'kirbo. What do you think he's referring to here about cheap imitations that are offering like life? >> [snorts] >> Basically almost any subscription we have to anything. You know? What's that? >> The iPhone. >> That's an easy that's just the easiest one. Yeah, but there's so many. There's so many different things. Yeah, what did you want to ask? >> You answered it because you were talking about happiness and I was thinking more like contentment because we could be happy but without the satiated feeling. But you did >> So, Pnimi'us ha'Torah amazing thing of like redefining these words. Can you imagine being content via a drive for something that you don't have yet? >> That would be nice. That's interesting. >> [clears throat] >> But that But that That's what he's saying. The fact that I don't have something fills me. Because it produces the world of of longing. Things that fill things that cause me to want things but they don't fill it with a longing for something don't make me feel content and that's why I need more and more and more of that thing and that thing. But what he calls it he calls it cheap substitutes. >> [clears throat] >> A very interesting choice of language. You got your hands up? Some hands up? Okay. These precious teachings. Where do you learn this Torah? We have it. It's in the of me mate shall I miss well. Why does it say in the book of Zohar? Why does it say in the book of Zohar that from this manuscript and in this we understand that to mean all the the of Torah that comes from the Zohar of but why is it that it says through this a person will come out of it? Because it over here means in this context I think I'm just going to give you my best way I'm the way I'm hearing it here is that a state of exile is a place where there's no and you never feel free cuz you always feel bad to your you always feel enslaved to that which you want to get the more that you want to get. However, in the real way, like the most beautiful thing is to become one with your ratzon, with with wanting to be close to Hashem. And when that becomes developed more and more and more, you realize you're further and further away from slave mentality and from galus consciousness. And here I'll say, so far, but I'm not going to it's not going to appear again, is that this can happen to you after you're the chairman of the board of Zionists of all Zionists living in Israel. Cuz it has nothing to do God bless you. It has nothing to do >> [clears throat] >> with looking at life through that prism, meaning like this. It obviously Rav Sasson would never tell someone, "Listen, you could stay in chutz l'aretz and experience all this." And we'll see that that's actually not the story. However, most many people in previous generations, they were they were really okay with their self-discovery being answered by just making aliyah. It really worked for a long time. Like it actually really did. People >> [clears throat] >> when I when you we moved here in the '80s, like people I remember this, like people really sensed that just making that move perhaps was enough of an answer to ayeka. And it's not and it's I'm I'm talking to the preaching to the choir here cuz we there's no other reason why you keep on coming back every week. You're all olim or olot at a certain point at a certain point. Where does that come from? It's because it's the next level of the galut of Torah Torah pnimiyut of Eretz Israel. Pnimiyut of Torah and Eretz Israel achdut, it's one. It's it's one. It's not two separate things. It's one. Rav Kook speaks about this extensively. I'm going to reading again from the second paragraph. V'itachen she'achat hasibot hagdolot l'ma mashmaut >> What is this Torah? Torah is a nation. The Torah of the soul. It's own soul. It's depth. And it's What makes I'm Israel. Actually recognize our own value. It will remember the greatness of its God. And it will return to God. And I feel like the last two words here are the most important words of this paragraph. And how will the true the movement? How will we know? That the true the movement that appears from the Torah is for real. Is it Through love. Through a lot a lot of love. There's so much to say on this paragraph. I'm just going to choose one thing for now. This there's a lot to say on this paragraph, but I think it's very clear that when we talk about the Torah of the soul, that it will restore to I'm Israel its own soul. Like we see without it's very sad that whenever we speak about these types of things, it starts to sound political. Really. Even though it's the cloud. The cabana not his for sure. >> [cough] >> How much not mine, but What does it mean that the soul of I'm Israel be restored to its people? We wouldn't be able to say bad things about other people. We just wouldn't be able to. We would know our own value and we'd see our own value in another person and we wouldn't be able to get caught up in the hype. Of differences of opinions causing us to have differences, you know, different feelings about other people that are negative. We're speaking about other people in other ways. Both the ones that live here and the ones that live outside of here. If the Torah of the Zohar Kadosh, the Torah of Baal Shem Tov is really is really coming through you in a way that we're saying is answering the Ayeka call, then you wouldn't Am Yisrael's soul being restored to them means that I only come back to you Hashem with with a tremendous amounts of love. And I see that in everyone that I, you know, and the way that I come back means that I also feel closer to everyone. Cuz I'm coming back to you b'ahavah rabbah. And we speak about this in shul every single Shabbos. But to speak bad about other Yidden does not go it can't and you could have all the haskados in the world, all the justifications in the world, but it will never [clears throat] ever ever ever be the emes of your neshama. The emes of someone's soul is never a place of I find it okay to speak bad about other Jewish people and the lashon hara. It can't be. Sod guf echad dun, that's what our Rebbe says. It's the secret of one body. Like honestly, did you ever burn your hand while you were making something on the stove? It's happened to everyone, right? So, do you start looking at your fingers and say, "You stupid moronic fingers?" You stubbed your toe on the wall. Start cursing out your toe? No. But Pnimius HaTorah, we're we're we're laughing, but Pnimius HaTorah makes that analogy something very to to be something very tangible and real about this. Yeah. >> [snorts] >> What about the concept of disappointment? In other words, I've I've come from a level of being disgusted by my relatives in America. Disappointed. Being disappointed, is that any better? >> I I think so. I mean, you went from disgusted to disappointed. Yeah, I I yeah. >> [laughter] >> Just a tad. Yes. >> Okay, but >> [clears throat] [laughter] >> is there anything tangible that I can grab onto to go a little higher? >> We're only in the Hakdamah. We're only in the We're only in the introduction. But you realize even But even this is a great example. I'm sorry you're being the scapegoat for this, but But but it's an amazing example. Like it started off by like by saying disgusted three two seconds later it went to disappointed. So now what would be two seconds later after that? >> Compassion. >> Let's again >> Well, not yet. Compa- We still have another maybe two more shlavim till compassion. What else? Let's keep on going up. >> Empathy. >> Disgusted, disappointed sad >> Sad. >> Okay. >> Accepting. >> Well, is angry in there? >> The angry Anger was more in disgusted. Anger is more in disgusted. Keep on going up. >> Feel badly for them. >> So that's more compassion. That that That that's already compassion. But then what do you But then and then what do you But what's waiting What's the revelation? What are you waiting to reach an understanding of? Love. Well, wait a second. I love them. I love them. >> But >> No. >> No buts. >> I love them and that's why I experience what I experience. Now let me go back to re- relating to them. >> Okay. >> So I've also been hard on myself. >> And then cuz of course I love them. Otherwise, why would I care? >> But sometimes we just have to again train ourselves to do this kind of mahalakh and realize See the the Torah of of It's not just the Baal Shem Tov. Obviously he the way he brings it down here is we see this through the Gra, we see it through the Kuzari, we see it obviously through the Ramchal and the Ramak. Like their Torahs are all there to get us to a place that we organically like by naturally already start at the top. And then we never even have to go down to the disgusted, disappointed, sad, far. We actually start at the 22nd my my sense is that I I love them. I love them. Rebono shel Olam have rachmanus on all of us to bring us closer together. That's what That's what we're operating from. See, the person like that lives with so much more content. Even though he has things that they're missing in his life, there's such a sense of a fulfill a fulfilling life like this. And this is the light that shines bright through Pnimiut HaSatara. >> Yeah. I I was also struck and I think I think this is the whole point of the safer, but like he starts from the center saying, you know, first you have to recognize your own value, and then you go back to and then you remember Hashem and then you go back to Hashem. And I think also in our interpersonal relationships, like a person who's really feeling content and satisfied with themselves is like you're saying not going to be able to look at another person negatively or or judgmentally. So, >> Hopefully. I mean, be'ezrat Hashem. >> know. Like fully fully >> Full >> [clears throat] >> Listen, I'm It's It's a long road to get there. Meaning, it's not like, oh, start start a tiny issue. I'm going to start to love everyone. It's Everything is Everything shlavim. But what do you have Are you struggling with that with that >> No, I'm just sitting [snorts] with that. >> Sitting with Yeah. >> I mean, I think especially in our day, like it it always starts with us with ourself and then everything works out from there. >> This is what it's about. It's about It's about Yavin et Erkeinu. Yavin et Erkeinu. Rebbe Nachman writes about this. Obviously based on Rebbe Nachman is that when a person starts to know what a Yid is, they'll realize that there's absolutely no shaychus of aveiros by Yidden. So, you'd say, "What do you mean, there's no shaychus by Yidden? I mean, I know Yidden are sinning all the time." Like, "Yeah, but they're not shayach to it at all. It's not their bag. It's not what they're They They got tangled up in it, but they're not That doesn't make That's not really who they are. Wow, that's not really who they are. That means that they're his the hoot. Their identification is actually I can stop identifying them or part of myself as a sinner? Yeah. Do you know what kind of freedom that is? That is the beginning of hairut. When I stopped identifying myself as a sinner. It's a It's a It's a mahalacha. It's a It's a process. It's a law. It's a law of beshoot. Yeah. >> So I asked you at the end of class last week there difference between identity and purpose. You said no. And in my mind I've been struggling with that like what are you saying? You know cuz like I think like we're all like thinking like what's my identity and what's my purpose? And then to really understand like to like what what you were saying about how knowing ourselves, you know? [snorts] But I feel like love is so separate from understanding our identity or our purpose or having happiness. Like it has to be separate. Like it has nothing to do with us. And knowing what our identity and purpose is first because that having love for self or for someone else is exist outside all of that. But I feel like we we create this attachment to knowing our identity and our purpose to have happiness. And then I can >> All right, listen. First of all, chas v'shalom to what you said. God forbid. And I'll explain to you separately but it's it's a it's very separate from where we're going with the shiur so I want to continue with where we're at right now but just for the record it is so not separate. It is so intertwined and necessary for every single shlav of the program. But we can discuss it separately, okay? I just want to continue with you. Yeah. >> Several years back I remember asking you um >> I'm getting grilled today on on questions. [laughter] >> Is Natori I was I said I don't think Natori Do you think Natori Card is Jewish? You gave me such a look that your wife had explained to me what you like you were like Like what are you saying? You know, you're saying that don't you know, like you were kind of disgusted by my comment. >> Or >> disappointed. >> Or >> [laughter] >> that you're >> [laughter] >> Listen, I'm disgusted with myself that grew up thinking that Satmar was a bad word. Cuz even in religious Zionism they had to also make things in boxes which is all backfiring all of them cuz anyone with anything real to say doesn't feel at home in that party. You're getting me on tangents and I want to but but you No, no, but listen, just to make my my my shock is that how how could it be that bless you that that Obviously, I don't think most of us identify with the mission statement of Neturei Karta. >> [sighs] >> And yet Hashem says they're part of Eden. So, they may feel that I'm not a Yid. And I've had conversations like that. But that's their problem. They're stuck with me. >> And we're stuck with him. >> But it's not stuck. It's like stuck is not the >> No, we we live we have to accept. >> Yeah, but that the point of this year is understanding that we're always so focused on them. It's got to be about us, you know. It's got to first come from us answering Ayeka before [clears throat] we begin to think that we can make sense of how everyone else is running their own shows and our our relationships and connections with them. It has to come first. Our Indian has to come first of cuz Hashem doesn't want me to answer Ayeka on behalf of anybody else. Right? Okay, let's let's let's keep on going. We're only doing a little bit more. It's not the whole in second page. So, don't worry. Hopefully, we'll get through it. I'll Canada we had a voucher called by live. Therefore, it's it's the correct [clears throat] thing for anyone that has a heart. Hopefully. Can you imagine someone closes the book now? Oh, called by live. I'll Canada we had a voucher called by live. Call me tomorrow. Any educator and teacher. However, I'm Israel that loves I'm Israel. Even those that don't think like you or even live here. I'm a kid by my little thumb. And recognizes their exalted level. I'll be school at home I'm a good lover you can have her. And that's a cute way. Talking about school at there cute, but it doesn't mean in a in a in a you know, belittling way. They're special and precious school at what makes us us. Shall you allow me my lucky I'm lucky him. The diamonds of the king of kings. Yeah, I school more than the baby root. Me who had a dumb. I know you put in 5 hours of learning tomorrow the morning. But you have to put 5 hours later in the day of also learning the tire of what is man. Me who had a dumb. My name is my total at me what what is a soul? What are these five levels of soul? What are all these concepts that uh many of us walk into showing we hear these concepts and we think we're idiots cuz everyone else we're assuming they understand it, but everyone thinks the same thing in the room. To learn these things, to actually learn what these what these levels are. How big this our souls are. Where is it all good all come on board what a great light exists within it. The car you might be a habit the moment you make the good deal. We will train ourselves to look out to the world in in a manner of greatness and depth. They are all little harsh the old man in the show to the door. I know I have a good game care hard then you'll come to whisper into the ears of the souls of this generation both the younger ones and the older ones. Shek dolim anachnu, we are big. Ruach Hashem bekerbenu, the spirit of Hashem is within us. Ve'or ein sof zarua begar ein atzmiutenu. An infinite light is planted into the seed which makes us tick. Al na lanu leham it be'ar keinu. I could hear him crying over this. He's saying, "Don't belittle our value." Value is not the greatest word here, cuz value erech, it mean [snorts] in this context, it means more than value. Zava, what do you think another word could be? >> Preciousness. >> Preciousness, maybe. >> [snorts] >> I don't know. Maybe we'll come back to What? Our worth. Our worth. Al ni ktanim be'einenu, don't make yourself Don't We shouldn't be small in our own eyes. We we we we did that before when we were small in other people's eyes, but we just made it up, like in the story of the meraglim that they said that we're grasshoppers in their eyes, even though that was their own assumption. But we do that to ourselves all the time. >> I don't see just as erech orachim, like values also. Don't belittle your values. >> Your values. Yeah? Hakara bigdula p'nimit. Recognizing the inner depth of how great we are. Hi ashuresh lehakir ulahadedeitav. Et chosher asheya chot el olam olamot zarim. This is very important. Before you turn the page, just look at these words. The greatness of recognizing that recognizing the greatness in the deep deep way is the root to understand and to sharpen for us why we really aren't shaya to olamot zarim, to foreign worlds. Now, what are foreign worlds? What does he mean over here? Trends. There's a lot a lot of trends in the world. Apparently, it's a it's a trend now to to have jihadists run America. It's like a trend. It's a trend in Europe. It's a trend in America. It's like this new thing. This It's a trend. The whole world is doing it. The whole world is doing it. It's even touching upon us here and there. It's a goyish. But, it's not just those things. It's It's also other goyish things, like cultural things. >> [snorts] >> It's trends. He says He says when you recognize how precious and valuable and how much your worth is and all the other words we can find to the word erech. He's saying you'll understand you'll sharpen the notion of of thank God I feel so foreign to what the world feels so at home with. You know, the one of the They say about Balak and Bilam that Bilam's curses were from his mouth. You could You could know what Bilam's curses were going to be based on the blessings that ended what Bilam's curses were going to be based on the blessings that ended up coming out of his out of his mouth, right? So, what was one of the very I've mentioned this before. One of the interesting blessings where you can't really understand that it's actually a blessing is that he says which means a nation will dwell on its own and won't take into consideration the nations of the world. So, what would have been the curse? Think about it. Now, flip it over. We will be the opposite. We will be We will be among everyone. Assimilation. Yeah. Meaning the the curse would be full assimilation that makes you feel proper and right and and part of the gang. But, they never worked for us. It never worked for us in any in any way, shape, or form. But, also Bless you. Also, spiritually it never worked for us. Finding our It never worked for us. You know, the real the real Emma's liquor people in India the real ones [clears throat] in the east the real ones and sometimes they would appear I don't know if it's still like this, but back in the day they would come out that when they saw Yiddish and a Shama that they saw a little bit of it's Zohar. I mean, I know people like this. Their gurus told them You go there. Not all not Not all not all of us ever were bold enough to make such statements. But it's like what about us going to that? So the brocha of Billam what ended up coming out is that is that thank God thank God and I'm never that Yishkon because if we were if we were so together with other nations of the world not in a peace and harmony way, but in terms of the way that our tarbut runs the way that our our culture and society runs then we would never hear the word Ayeka. It wouldn't be part of a of the program. We would never hear that question and we wouldn't have this drive and aspiration that we're speaking about in this year about figuring out the real me. The danger becomes though that once I hear Ayeka that I go to foreign places to find the answers. And he's saying over here However, it's it's all This has been planned for many many many many years. It's all here. It's all It's all in the library. And now we have to take the books off the shelves and now we need help with understanding what it says over here, but it's all here. It's all here. So thank God it makes us realize we don't we're not shy of these foreign worlds. Redudim ubsuyim and they these these shallow and humiliating worlds that have nothing to do with the soul of a Yid. Nothing. Ilabonhu which means the olive it's an To a person that the spirit of God is standing within him. Look at these words. Leo Sargon Tarabotti. You know what a Sargon Tarabotti means? A cultural consumer of a culture that is shallow and empty and cheap. And cheap. It's very strong. Very strong words over here. >> [clears throat] >> I you know, I I always say like Actually, Nitsa, I was thinking about this cuz of you and David. There's a I know so many cool people that are offering the goods of all goods. For instance, I get a message almost every week from Ruth Gershon. Every week. Just an an another Neshama that showed up out of nowhere. Actually, it's connected to my family that my my brother married into. It's a long story. We know him for many years. Just him as an example. Just like plopping out of nowhere and showing and and talking in terminology that if you if you didn't know what this person looked like then you closed your eyes. And maybe it's the British accent. I don't know what it is, but you you feel like you're just on this cruise of relaxation. You know, you just like this Pleasantville. It's an amazing thing, but there's so many have it like this today that are offering the opposite of what he just said right now. The opposite of being a consumer of a culture that really is empty and it's cheap. It's cheap imitations. Cheap imitations. And it's so painful. It's so sad. What's that? >> media feeds would be filled with people like Ruth Gershon and not with people that are trying to, you know, to sell us things from Temu and like garbage from China. Then >> [snorts] >> I I think we'd all be in a better path. And this is exactly what >> He's saying that's that He's saying that that's one level and the other level is when these Tyras show up from foreign places as well, meaning it it it it breaks my heart when I see people that they've already graduated from Temu. So, now what are they What are What's their culture? What's their Tzar Khan? What's their consumer needs? So, they they hear they do they hear a calling they hear something that stems with their soul that's not coming from your desk height. It's coming from other places. And then people then you know the saddest thing is that if they ever reveal that to someone in their circles the person would start saying, "Ah, you're a shake it's you you're connecting yourself with somebody else Zara." And and they're crying inside their heart saying, "And the Yiddish guide that you offered me and you raised me with you think this that's that's an answer to the calling of the soul? Of course I'm going to be a consumer of foreign cultures. Of course I am. We have stories like this left and right. So, this is this is the true fire that we keep on going back to. This is the medicine that Reb Sasson is describing in terms of answering of the call of our door. And he says This through learning Pnimius HaTora we can give a person a shot a a cheerleading a dude like a to cheer you about a strong and holy booster. And [snorts] what How do I know that I got the booster? This is how you know by the next few words. If I rise and then demand freedom and light not freedom to be free from keeping Torah and mitzvahs a fool just that I feel free I feel light both like light and like non heavy both together. In order to do what let's sit in a massage at me a meeting to go out to this journey of discovering the true me. To give birth to the special [clears throat] light shin table a donor mode that the master of souls planted within you reborn so he's alluding to something here that we find in other places of his writings. We saw this come up one time and when we were learning come me or a I'm obviously not expecting anyone to to remember exactly I also don't remember exactly but I think this is what it was like. But so so says that many people live full lifetimes in the state of being an embryo. What's an embryo? What what status is an embryo? Like what state of life are they is an embryo? Not what's that not dependent free? Not fully developed not fully developed free? >> [clears throat] >> No. Existing? Existing yes. Actually content to say well but it's an illusion. And he says that there are people there there are there have been the shamans been souls for years and years they were okay with that meaning they were okay with their status of being in this world just that you know and that is not the story of this generation. This is not the story earlier this week also in this kind of one night with a bunch of these young Israeli brother I just can't stop getting over this It's I don't see it so much by the American issue camera. You do have a little bit, but by an artist Israel, it's something else. This no art today. This no art that I love that when you see someone with a tattoo these days, let's just say you see a man and you're standing behind him in a coffee shop and he's about and you just for whatever you don't see the top of of of their head, right? Or you also can't see their waist, but you see like let's say you just get a glimpse of the back of their arm, right? I love that we're getting clue more and more in a door. I don't love that everyone has tattoos is I'm a boy. I love that we're already trained to see to where to not naturally assume anything about this person other than they may be the give up of all give up and then quite often you'll see a yamaka and you'll see tzitzit coming out. >> The tattoo will be a plus. >> Or yeah. Yeah. >> That's crazy. >> I'll I'll tell you I I wasn't going to say this, but I'm going to say it now because I don't think it'll it'll reach them, but you know, this earlier this week I was privileged to do a chuppah of a an amazing couple artists. They were in uh not here. And And more in the Americas. And um one's from Australia, one's from Germany. And um it was so cool freeing being doing a chuppah with no rabbinim looking over my shoulder to make sure I'm doing it right. There was no rav. There was like no no rabbinim there. And I was thinking about the experience of that versus a chuppah I did a few weeks ago where there was like five rabbinim. Every letter I'm writing in there everyone's looking you know everyone's looking. But here it's like there was a chiyuv of like we're look we're all people were looking for there was to feel chibur and your job is to just make sure it's done because of the show by Allah. But there wasn't a sense of he's doing it right, doing it wrong, doing it right. There's not a freedom of just like Bonnie Abba, let let let's be in this moment. Let's be in this moment. Now honestly, finding Adam wasn't simple at this at this you understand? I'm not saying that everyone there is like everyone there is so holy and they're they're holy of holies. Holy probably not so much. Kodesh Kodashim yes, cuz they're Eden. There's a bar and it's you know, Tel Aviv Yaffo of today it's a it's a different world. However, mamash mamash mamash I felt there a tveya a demand to be big. From inside the people in the in in the Hebron area. They don't even know where to start or what it means. They have no but they just their nishamas are are giving bringing down a consciousness of we're destined for greatness. Ayeka. Okay? And our job is to make it nagish. How do you say nagish? >> Accessible. In the most loving and inviting way be ahava raba. Because this is the calling of our generation. This is the calling of our generation and it's getting clearer by the day. Therefore, this safer which is going to be a a journey, a journey an amazing journey is very much I what I've seen is like the what he did over here is that he gave us a chance to actually feel close to Rav Kook. But it's not just Rav Kook. It's the world of pnimiyus haTorah from so many different sources and angles that we're not used to learning it like this. However, it's it's right here. I would say that it's a the goal is is that if someone I'll end with this. This is important. This is it'll tie it all up. In 1967 or 1966 Yeah, in 1966 there was before Rav had the house of living prayer, there was no place to get together. He came to San Francisco and he basically asked all the kids that were already following him, "I'm going to get a few hotel motel rooms and just come and and and it'll be givald." Hundreds of kids came, way more than the rooms that he had ordered. The head of the motel, he was actually a Holocaust survivor, he wanted to throw them out in the middle of Pesach cuz there was matzah all over the motel and it's a whole story, but Reb said that one time he waited he wanted to know if all the tires he's saying really are going into them. So, he said that he kept the door he said at like 3:00 in the morning after the seder was finished or 4:00 in the morning he said, "I kept the door a little bit open cuz I wanted to see what happens when I leave with these by this young chevra." And he saw that one guy that had just showed up, he came to one of the chevra there and pulled out a big joint. He said, "Let's now really get high." So, he said that one of the there was a couple there he started to mekarev who today are great-grandparents to hundreds of descendants in Yerushalayim, Hasidim that knew nothing. He said that the woman said to this person, "Oh, you think that's potent? Check this out." And she pulled out and he was like, "Oh, no. Oh, no. She probably really is a big druggy and I I I'm I'm not really getting to them." And she pulls out this beautiful piece of shmurah matzah that she had saved that Reb gave her. And he said, "You think that stuff's strong? Try this." And he went to sleep that night saying, "This chevra, they're ready for the highest. You just have to give it to them. You have to make You have to make it accessible." So, I give us a bracha to stay I'm going to as like a word of caution with this safe and we're not going to it's going to be a we're going to do our own seder of it cuz sometimes things do get repetitive here and maybe very marked with that it won't be for us. It has to be the way that it will be working over here. But I know that there isn't a soul in this room in this shul. I want to say all over this country that can tolerate being foreign to themselves anymore. We can't stand it anymore. We can't take it and and as much as it hurts I want you to say baruch hashem that I can't take it. As much as it feels uncomfortable thank God it feels uncomfortable. Be thankful for it. Be happy about it. The local it's not easy but like Cliff always says it's worthwhile. It's mamish worthwhile. It's because of hashem we'll continue this year on yeah, next Thursday. We're going to start with perek aleph. Finally, thank God. Thank you so much everyone. >> Thank you. Thank you.