Why You Need to Stop Saving Everyone

Can helping someone actually prevent them from growing? Absolutely, sure. The question is how to draw the line. What's the difference between help that is helpful and help that is unhelpful? And I feel like this is a good guide, and it applies to adults as well as to children. Cuz if you're a parent, sometimes you have to decide whether or not to help your child in a situation. But it takes discernment, and it takes knowing the person that you're trying to help. And here it is. Never bail somebody out of a situation that they're capable of fixing on their own. For instance, maybe your kid comes home and tells you that he got into a fight with his friends at recess. And you judge that it's a typical age-appropriate type of uh disagreement. So, that would be a time to back off and let your kid figure it out. But let's say your kid comes home and says the teacher is bullying him. And it's true. You know, there's a power discrepancy. How is a kid supposed to stand up to an adult? That's not something that he can handle on his own. He needs your help. And you could extrapolate that to all types of things. Your buddy calls you up and and tells you he needs to move his couch from storage to his apartment on a Sunday. But he can't carry the couch by himself. You're not enabling him if you help him carry the couch, right? But let's say somebody asks you, "Can you call my doctor for me and make an appointment for me?" Now, unless this person has like diagnosed social anxiety where he literally cannot pick up the phone, that's something that an adult can and should be able to take care of on their own. And you're doing it for them isn't really helpful. So, that's how to get clarity. If you're ever questioning, "Am I really helping or am I stunting this person's growth?" just imagine, "Is this particular task for this particular person something they can do on their own, or do they legitimately need another pair of hands in order to get the job done?" In which case, by all means, be that extra pair of hands.