Why Your Hardest Challenge May Reveal Your Life’s Purpose - Rabbi Chay Amar

Last week we started the book of Bereshit. An event that would change the whole history of the world and the way we see life, the way we deal with life every day would be forever changed. God creates man after creating an extraordinary universe. A universe so great, planet Earth. The distance between the Earth and the Moon is 400,000 km, between the Earth and the Sun, a million and a half kilometers, between the Earth and Jupiter, which is only the second heaven according to the Midrash, and there are seven of those, is two light years. A universe that's forever expanding. A multitude of vegetation, animals, cattle, birds, fish, an extraordinary body of water. All this is created just before the creation of man. Man is the last of the creations. But it's interesting because there is a intrinsic difference. A [clears throat] most quintessential difference between the creation of man and the creation of everything else. When it comes to everything else, Hashem says, "And there is." When it comes to the creation of man, God first creates the body and then in a second step, God blows into his nostrils a breath of life. Why? Why is everything in the universe created with speech, but man created in two steps? What is the soul? What is the secret here? Well, everything has a dual reality. You have the body. You have the soul. And when you create in one step, body and soul, it means that there is a perfect balance between body and soul. On the other hand, when God decides to create man without any vitality, what does that mean? What is vitality? What is energy? Vitality, energy, call it the soul, is really the purpose of each and every single creation. So, every creation is created with its vitality. But man is created with no vitality whatsoever. What does that mean? It means that man is the lowest of all creations. How? Well, very simple. If mineral life, vegetable life, animal life is created with its vitality, and man is created with no vitality, it's created with no purpose. It means that man is even lower than mineral life If man is lower than mineral life, why is it that way? What is the second step in creation? The second step in creation is Vayipah, and God blew into his nostrils a breath of life. Contrary to speech, man's vitality comes from God's breath, so to say. It's God's breath. What is Why the analogy of breath? When you speak, there's a certain vitality that comes out of your mouth. But when you breathe, it's something that comes from your depth. >> [clears throat] >> So, if everything was created as something which is very low in vitality, man's [clears throat] soul is really at the depth and the essence of the creator that's [clears throat] invested in man. So, the Gemara in Hagigah, page 16, says that in three things we resemble angels. In three things we resemble angels because we stand upright, not like animals which are on four. We are able to speak Hebrew, the holy language of the Torah, and the holy language of creation with which God created the whole universe. And we have da'at. We have the power to discern. The power of discernment to be able to know good from bad, to separate, and to see the purpose in everything. On the other hand, we are we resemble the animal in three things. We reproduce, we relieve ourselves, and we eat and drink. So, really man is what we call the Briah Tichonit. The central creation which associates heaven and earth in one body. So, what happens? What happens is that the earthly element of man is the lowest of the whole creation. But, THE GODLY VITALITY WE HAVE IN OURSELVES IS THE HIGHEST OF ALL CREATION. IT'S THE ESSENCE OF creation itself. To use the language of Kabbalah, Nitzotz Boreh u Nivrah. A spark of the creator of the whole universe in a Nivrah, in a creation. Every single one of us here. Why? Well, there's a concept that when you want to lift something heavy, how do you do it? You want to lift a pail, do you lift it from the sides? No. You lift it from the lowest point so it lifts up everything. >> [clears throat] >> Well, if man, which is the lowest of creation, elevates himself, the whole universe, the whole ecosystem, the spiritual worlds, the highest levels of the spiritual worlds are all elevated. If on the other hand, man lowers himself to something which is lower than his then at this moment he takes all of the worlds, all of the supernal realities, everything in creation is lowered. That's exactly what happened. Adam and Hava are in the Garden of Eden. Hashem says, you should eat from all the trees, from all the fruits, enjoy. But, from the tree of knowledge, I call it the tree of experience, the tree of >> [snorts] >> connection, so to say, then that tree cannot touch. You can't I'm sorry, you can't eat. What happens? Man is created 10 hours before Shabbat. Every hour he is formed more. At the seventh hour, at the beginning, Adam and Hava were one unit. One unit. Like Siamese brothers and sister. God did the first perfect operation. I won't look at the women as I'm saying this. Man had to be put to sleep first. Maybe you would not agree. And then, at that moment, vayase lo ezer kenegdo, God in his great sense of humor separated what was one body, >> [clears throat] >> one mind, into two separate bodies, putting the woman facing the man. And after that, the snake came to seduce the woman, engage her into a discussion. I heard God told you that you can't eat from any of the fruits. You see, this is already so conniving, so deceiving. He knows that it's only from one tree. But he tells her, "I heard you can't eat anything." You know why? Because the beginning of the downfall of man is when you start exaggerating. When you change the truth. That's why Adam made already a terrible [clears throat] mistake. He told his wife, "Not only can you not eat, you can't touch." He wanted to protect her. Sometimes we find this many times. A man wants to be macho. He wants to be the boss. He wants to show that he's great. So he puts these extra boundaries around his wife. He doesn't realize that a wife is supposed to be a partner, not your child. And at that moment the snake is able to start She start He starts a discussion. So what did God say? And she says, "He said can't You can't touch." Can't touch. He pushes her. You touched. Nothing happened. You know why God doesn't want you to eat? Because then you'll become godly yourself. So she eats from the tree of knowledge. And at that moment history is changed forever. A few questions. Why did the snake wait? Instead of engaging Hava when she was still one with Adam, she waited TILL THEY WERE SEPARATE BEINGS. >> [clears throat] >> Rabbi Nachman of Breslov, the student of Rabbi Nachman, teaches an incredible lesson. He says, as long as man and woman are one mind, one body, one heart, one reality, the snake has absolutely no power. The moment they become two minds, two realities, then there's an opening. There's a fissure, there's a place to go and to start seducing. From here we learn an extraordinary lesson. As we have a lot of young men and young women that were looking to establish a home, the most important thing is to find that person that you want to flow with. That person that's going to be with your mind. Doesn't mean that they have the same mind as you. But when it comes to the mind, the mind is going in the same direction. Once you have that, you're protected from every and any type of attack and at the same time, you have a power to be able to draw down all the blessings. As it says in the pasuk, "Zachar u nekeva bara otam vayvarech otam Elokim." God created man male and female and he blessed them. Chassidus and Kabbalah explain that man and woman, two entities, becoming one, the synergy of both is able to draw down the power of the Ein Sof, >> [snorts] >> the power of infinity. If for a man a woman is the reflection of his evil inclination the moment he marries the woman he becomes she becomes that protection against all evil inclination and gives man the power to reach the highest possible levels. And that's why the crisis of shalom bite is so difficult. That's why it's so difficult for two people to come in a union and actually be one. Because that's the biggest challenge of life. Because if they're one then what did we say before? The action of man down here has the power to affect everything ALL THE WAY UP TO THE SOURCE. So once a man and a woman are united then at that moment the whole world is united. And it says in the Zohar Kadush in parashat Trumah that the moment there's unity above between the giver and the receiver in Hebrew the giver and the woman then at that moment the power of synergy is so incredible that the light that comes out of that energy is so powerful that it like literally blinds all powers of evil. And therefore our sages teach us "Lo matza Kadosh Baruch kli amchazik bracha yoter mi shalom." God did not find a vessel, a recipient, a channel to be able to receive and draw down blessing more than peace. The snake knew that, and that's why once they were separate, this is the moment that it all starts. That all difficulties start. So many people are arguing for the most insignificant things. It's absolutely mind-boggling to me. So, let's continue the story. Adam and Hava are in the garden. What was supposed to happen? Let's try plan A. Plan A, they did eat from the tree of knowledge. They resisted for 3 hours, and they came into Shabbat. [snorts] They lived forever, and that's it. Why didn't God just do it that way? Really, [snorts] we think about it, we're not talking about a human like us that's created from a father and mother. We're talking about a human that's been created by God's hands. The Midrash recounts that the light that used was coming out of the heel of Adam HaRishon, Adam, the first man, was so powerful that it made the sun look dark. Imagine. K'mo haShemesh. Every one of them, Adam and Hava, were like two of the most um brilliant extraordinary spiritual beings in a physical body, which was translucent and permitted the light of their soul to shine all over the world. How could they not resist? And really, maybe we should ask a question on God, like Rabbi Zusha of Anipoli and Rabbi Elimelech of Lizhensk asked. Why did God make it wanted this way? I actually love that explanation of Rabbi Zusha and Rabbi Elimelech. So, let's imagine for a second that Adam and Hava would not have sinned. Let's rewrite the whole scenario. Please, let's go in a time machine 5,786 years ago and a month. Adam, Hava. The snake says to Hava, "You know, you could be God if you eat." "No, I don't want to become God." And then, they live forever. OUTSIDE, YOU LOOK AT them and you say, "Wow, such incredible spiritual, powerful beings." But, think about it for a second. What was happen- What would happen in their mind? What would they be thinking? When a young man goes out with a lady, he's offered to go out with a a a young girl, young lady. And at the end, he sees a picture. He said, "Ah, this is for me." But, something else comes instead, and he goes out with the other girl. What happens in the back of his mind? Maybe it could have been better with her. Maybe it could have been better with him. That's the way the mind works. What would have happened if So, imagine Adam and Hava looking like these godly beings, but they said in their mind in their mind they would think, "You know, I could have been God." If I would have eaten if I would have eaten from that tree of knowledge, I COULD HAVE BEEN GOD. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN PRACTICALLY SPEAKING? It means that externally they would HAVE LOOKED LIKE GODLY BEINGS, but internally they would have been completely disconnected from God. Because inside their ego would be so great. And therefore, says Rabbi Zusya of Anipoli, I mean they made a holy sound, that was the lesson. God wanted man to understand that he's mortal and that God is infinite, not him. But again, why could they not resist? There's an incredible lesson that the Rebbe gives us. That a person has a mission in the world. The whole mission of Adam and Hava was to overcome that one and only challenge. What happens when you have a mission? Then all the forces of evil understand that the moment that you want to fulfill your mission, you're going to transform the world forever. And therefore, the Satan himself went and fought against Adam and Hava in order for them not to fulfill their mission. If they would have resisted, and if everything would have changed. So, this is a great lesson for every single one of us. Whenever you find something which is very difficult, something which is very challenging, you have to know that that's your mission in life. Ah, so you want to say so I should I give up? Says no. That's God. Because it's so difficult, God gives you the power to be able to overcome. There are things sometimes in life that we see are so easy for somebody else, but for you it's the most difficult thing. For one person to control their anger is like wow, it's impossible this guy always getting angry, she's always getting angry. For another person, it doesn't matter what people say to her or to him. They're always in control it seems, it doesn't matter, it just doesn't even affect them. Over their heads. Why? So I want to tell you one of the most challenging moments is when you get married. And I believe that that's why people are so scared to get married. That's why we have a crisis you could say of so many young men and women around the world that don't find. Because somewhere somewhat a person is scared to be challenged. [clears throat] I want things just to flow, to be easy, to be natural. I want somebody that's going to be easygoing and just do whatever I feel. Be the top model without the character and the defects. Be the provider without demanding anything. Marriage and unity I would say is the biggest challenge of man. Because it puts you in a situation that you cannot avoid. I remember when I was in Yeshiva some 33 years ago. I thought I knew what love was. What respect of another is. What ahavat Israel is, loving your fellows as yourself. You sleep in what's called a pnimia. A dormitory. You share a room with four other people. One doesn't know what it means to respect the other person's sleep. The other person doesn't understand the concept of showering. And the other one doesn't understand what it means to not make any noise. Each one with his character. And I Ah, I'm so good. Shy, you're the best. You love everyone. Look, you're not saying a word. You accept. And then I got married. And suddenly I started being irritated. And suddenly I wasn't this incredible guy that everything was flowing. What happened to me? Of course, when you know that after a year you're not going to be with these guys anymore you could say I could wait a year. But the reality of marriage is a reality that's day in and day out. Morning, lunch, and supper. There's no going back, going away from who you are. You have to transform yourself or else it's just going to be chaos. Or chaos in the house. So God in his great sense of humor asks us to repair the world. And how do we repair the world? By repairing ourselves. How do you repair yourself? By actually getting married. Once you get married, at that moment, you get married to what I call a magnifying mirror. I never had a sister. So when I was young I would stand next to my mother. She should live long and be well. When she would look in these funny mirrors that women use which magnify everything. I never understood why women do that. And from there I learned this analogy. Something that's very small, suddenly became becomes 100 times bigger. So it seems terrible. Why should I get married to a woman? Imagine. >> [laughter] >> Each time I'm going to do something wrong she's going to be that big mirror that's going to show me, "Oh look, you need to fix this." So maybe I should just live by myself. And a lot of people, that's what they consider. On the other hand, the other side of the metal is that the sages said in the Torah man is no good by himself. What does "no good" It means that the true goodness of man cannot be revealed if he doesn't have a woman in his life. Because the same way she's a magnifying mirror TO PUSH HIM TO FIX what he needs to fix she's a magnifying mirror that will believe in him and get him to reach a potential that he doesn't know that he has. So, it's very difficult. Should I get into this whole project? People pay thousands of dollars to go to a Tony Robbins coaching session, transform your life. And to other coaches, I want to tell you the best coaching session that will actually transform your life is marriage. Nothing else will do it like marriage. Well, what is the tool? What is the tool to be able to overcome the challenges of marriage? And what is the biggest enemy to marriage, your relationship? Any idea? What is the biggest enemy to a marriage? What? So, I got it. Ego. Ego. It's impossible to dance [clears throat] if you're not supple. If you're stiff, it's impossible to flow. You'll be always having a lot of emotional bruises. In order to be able to really be one in a marriage, [snorts] you need to be able to set aside your ego and say, "I'm ready to surrender." To who? To God. Many people think, "I'm going to like live la vida loca. Just go and do your life. I'm going to go and do this. I'm going to do that. I'm going to do whatever I want. And when I get married, everything will fix itself." I want to tell you, whatever challenges you did not overcome before will face you once you get married. It's going to force you to change and transform yourself. But, at that moment that you're ready to do that inner work of transforming yourself, you will discover incredible qualities and a potential and a power that you never knew you had. And it goes as well for man and for woman. So, that's the challenge. The real challenge is, like the Benish Hai says, that the external appearance of a woman is a reflection of the internal appearance of man. And the external appearance of a man is the reflection of what's happening inside a woman. Once you become one, at that moment you're in a state of flow. When you're in a state of flow, there's no greater level of connection with yourself, with your spouse, with God, and there's no greater channel to receive all the blessings. And that's why the Torah says, the Talmud says that if you honor your wife, you'll become rich. The Gaon of Vilna says it's very interesting. What was the curse of a woman? Ve'hu yimshal bach. Man will dominate you. What is the curse of the woman? What is the curse of man? Beze'at apecha tochal lechem, you will have to really work hard in order to make money. Says the Gaon of Vilna something extraordinary. He says, "If you're able to transform her curse and not be the dominant one, then Hashem will transform your curse and give you your sustenance with an incredible flow." Where is the What is the first marriage of man? What is the first marriage? Our first marriage is the marriage with ourselves, >> [clears throat] >> with our subconscious, with our inner being. How do we deal with life? Are you What happened What happened to Adam and Hava? I don't understand. Everything is permitted to you. There's one tree that's not permitted, AND THAT'S THE ONLY THING YOU FOCUS ON. WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU? Cuz that's the nature of man. When something is prohibited, that's the only thing that becomes important. One of the commentaries says something incredible. He says, "You know, what was their mistake? Their mistake is that they had a commandment to eat from the other trees. And if they would have eaten from the tree of life, then they would never have sinned. They would have been commanded to eat from the other tree, from the tree of knowledge, because they would have been able to associate the knowledge of below with the supernal life of above." But isn't that the story of every single one of us who are growing in life? We have so many things which are pleasurable, so many things which are exciting and permissible, and we look for what's not. We have so many things to thank God for, and we look for what's going wrong. That was a sin. So, the beginning of transformation starts with appreciating the incredible gifts, pleasures that God gives you every day of your life. And to make peace with yourself. It's very hard to make peace with yourself. Why is it hard? Because on one hand we live a dual reality. The reality of the body, the reality of the animal soul is that it's only interested by physicality. Look at our hands, our arms, our fingers. When we walk, these arms, which are the extension of the heart, where do they point? They point towards the floor, towards physicality. The animal soul, by nature, is just interested in taking a pleasure. It's emotional. It's an emotional machine that just wants to fulfill emotions and pleasures and feel good. It has intellect as well, but it's all about fulfilling its self-centered egotistical desires. The soul, on the other hand, has a completely different nature. Just like it says, "Ner Hashem nishmat Adam." The soul of man is really the flame of God. So, the soul, by nature, just wants to escape. I want to get out of here. I just want to escape reality. I don't care if I'm not going to exist. Just like the flame is ready to leave the wick just to go to and source. So, the question is, if you have these two powers, cuz [snorts] the real reason why God created these two in two steps was in order to to get the best and the most powerful soul and the most powerful body. That's the first marriage of man. So, how do you make peace? How is it possible to make peace with two individuals? You have an animal and you have a man. You have an animal and you have a soul. What's the common denominator? What's the common ground where they can make peace? Intellect. The mind, even of the animal soul, is looking to higher things. And the soul has a nature to go higher. So, if you start filling your mind with higher purpose, a higher mission, a higher direction, at that moment, you're able to actually transform the incredible power of your body and give it the power to propel your soul to levels which are incredible. Just like a man, a man by himself can sow, can plow, but how much can he actually harvest? But if he has an ox and he directs the ox in the right direction, he's able to do incredible things and get so much more back. The same thing. The power of the body, the power of the animal soul, is it for the purpose of the animal soul? It's for the purpose of elevating it to the highest possible level. The same thing between a man and a woman. Once you're able to put yourself in the same line of thought, and one is able to encourage the other, at that moment, you're ready, you're able to propel yourself to incredible levels. But, in order to do it, what is the connecting point between a woman and a man? I remember one day my friend's father, who was a rabbi, took me aside. Says, "Shai, you know what turns on a woman the most?" >> That's it. >> What? You know what turns on a woman? What? What are you talking about? He says this, "A connection of the mind." "When your mind and her mind are one, she's open to everything." If your mind is independent and not connected to her mind, then it doesn't matter what you want to do. It's all going to be superficial, mechanical. It's not going to be a union. The real union between soul and body is the same union that exists between a man and a woman. It starts with the mind. Am I able to communicate with that person? Am I able to be myself with that person? A lot of people ask me, "What are the three things that you know this is the person?" I flew to Paris over 30 years ago to meet a young lady. Didn't happen. She asked too many questions. You know what? When you go on a date, it's very important to ask three questions. >> Can I record this for >> Yeah. have to When you speak about When you go on a date, you have to ask three questions. You have to speak about family, food, [snorts] I'm sorry, food, family, and philosophy. So, this guy goes out with this girl and he says, "Do you like fettuccine alfredo?" And stop the film, is it? Uh it's okay. You know it. Uh do you like fettuccine alfredo?" He says to her. She says, "No." Oh, "Do you have a brother?" She says, "No." Okay, philosophy. "If you had a brother, would he like fettuccine alfredo?" So, anyways, it didn't go out very well because >> [clears throat] >> she was asking about all the situations, whose side I would take. She had like a list of questions, bombarded me with questions. >> [clears throat] >> I said, "Thank you very much." And when I was with another girl, I knew right away it's not for me. And then they said there's a very nice young lady. We went out on Monday. We went out on Wednesday afternoon. Thursday, I proposed. Still married. We got married 2 and 1/2 months later. We didn't see each other for a month. I barely recognized her on the phone call. She recognized me, of course. I was there. So, how do we do it? And why is it so complicated today? The first thing you want to know is am I myself with this person? People put such a show on. It's so difficult to maintain a show. You know, you have this guy who goes out with this girl, this girl who goes out with this boy. Are you sure that's who you are? Are you? Yes. Oh, well, so am I. I went out with somebody else. Are you sure that's who you are? Are you? No, no, me neither. What? What are you? What am I getting married? Who am I going to establish my household Are you flowing with this Are you yourself? And do you think and do you feel that this person is themself there, she's herself, he's himself when you go out? And that's already first step. Are you attracted? Well, today, obviously, if you're not, you wouldn't be going out. And the third thing is would you trust them if you went on a trip with them to take care of your kids and educate your children in the way you would like? What are your goals? Are you looking in the same direction? These are the things which are essential in your life. All the rest, things change. Physical appearance changes. Everything changes. One day I had a couple come to see me. He says, "Rabbi, she's not the same woman I married. She changed." I said, "Thank God she changed. Imagine if she was still stuck up with the with the 20-year-old brain. Now that you're she's 30, she's 40. She should not change? You shouldn't evolve? You shouldn't be able to grow together? What's the matter with you? Actually, it's the friction there is in a couple that actually brings them together. Why do we love our kids so much? You know why? Why does it hurt us when they're not doing the right thing? Because at 2:00 in the morning, change their diapers. And then we'll change their diapers again. And then when they were clean and smelling good, we changed it again. Woke up at 2:00, 3:00, 4:00, took them to the hospital, took them to the doctor, took them back, took care of their education. They got thrown out of school, we got and so on and so forth. I'm not going to tell you the whole story. >> [snorts] >> Anyways, you're so invested in somebody. That's what love is. Love is not what you see in the movies. It's not the unlimited credit card. I I didn't I didn't get my spending back. Oh, you're so offended. So I'm offended. Come on. This is life. I once had a couple come to me. >> [clears throat] >> This was maybe 28 years ago. I spoke to them separately. He's never home. He never spends time with me. Okay. I hear you. It's essential to spend quality time together. So, what's the story? Look, she wants an apartment in Miami, New York. So besides my two jobs, I have to take think third job. Of course, he's never He's never home. What do you want? You want him? You want a relationship? Or you want what sounds and shows good on Instagram, TikTok, and all the other social Whose life are you living? Are you ready to live your life with somebody that's really going to care and invest themselves fully? Once you make that commitment in your life, once you make that commitment in your mind, then you will find the right person. >> [clears throat] >> But it has to start with the inner change inside of you. It has to start with making the decision that I'm ready to make peace between me and my soul. I'm ready to think in a different I'm ready to connect to my inner self, give up on certain things, and invest myself on a regular basis, and really toil to get to my purpose, my goals, and what I think my mission is. Every single one of you here has a mission. We all have a mission. When are we happy? We are happy, joyful, fulfilled when we fulfill our mission. When you're not fulfilling your mission, you feel empty. [snorts] And that's why you waste yourself, you waste your time, you waste your energy, you waste your emotion. You have no self-respect because you just want to let things happen. Maybe I'm going to feel good. It's not about the feeling good. It's about living it out. When you know you have a purpose in life, when you have a dream and it's hard for you to get to that dream, fulfill that mission, but you're doing it day in and day out, then suddenly you will find your life will be completely transformed. All the struggles we're born with are there for a purpose. It's there in order to elevate us to our true status. Let me share something very personal. I used to be the greatest balaganist. What I mean by balaganist is the whole concept of seder, of order, did not exist. When to sleep, how to sleep, where to sleep, on the couch, with my clothes, without my clothes, in my bed, well, everything was chaos. To such an extent, I remember one day my 4-year-old son at the time took my hat, my jacket, the briefcase, and he said, "Bye, I'm going to work." He goes to the door, he turns back, "Where are my keys? Where are my keys?" 4-year-old. That day I realized, one second, one second, where did he learn that from? So, one day I was fed up with myself. I said, "You know, how long you're going to live this balagan? You start things, you don't finish them. It's not good. It's not good. This is not who you are. You're not focused. That lack of focus, this whole distraction, this is the yetzer hara himself trying to take your energy and just spread it thin. 3 hours, 4 hours, 6 hours of Instagram and I don't know what to talk talk in the morning and you slept out a good day the next day and then it starts again because you feel tired and empty and lost control over yourself. And therefore you're not eating right, you're not taking care of your body, you're not taking care of anything. Everything is a big mess. So what did I do? I decided to hire a boss. I hired somebody. I said very simple, I will work for you now. Yeah? Yeah. I'm going to pay you to to work for you. On Monday we're going to meet and I'm going to tell you all of my inspirations, all of my desires, everything I dream about to do and I'm just going to brainstorm and just put it on paper and you're just going to be my mirror. Great. On Wednesday, I'm going to meet with you again for 15-20 minutes and we're going to review what I did and what I didn't do. And like this, my mind knowing that I'm meeting in 2 days will push me to do what's the most uncomfortable and the most difficult for me. On [snorts] Friday, we're going to meet in another half an hour and we're going to review what I did right and what I did wrong. And we're going to start this and I did this for a year and a half. The best hour and a half I paid for in the week. Why? Because losing consciousness, especially today and I didn't have social media at the time, losing consciousness is the easiest thing to do. Wasting your life away is the easiest Wasting time is the easiest thing to do. >> [clears throat] >> When you have that check-in and you're ready to face yourself, go do it with a friend. I'll tell you give you a simple exercise. Take a good friend and you tell him that you send them your three accomplishments of the day and three shortfalls of the day. You're going to see your accomplishments will always grow. And every day you're going to think, "What did I accomplish today? Do I really want to spend that time wasting my time on something that I have to do something cuz I have to report?" That consciousness, that checking in, is what's going to get you to your goals. That checking in with yourself is what's going to get you married and establish a home. Why? Because your vision is clear and you're doing something about it. They did a study most people that make resolutions on December 31st. When do you think they review their resolutions? On December 31st of the next year. Baruch Hashem, we just started the new year. Today is Rosh Chodesh Cheshvan. We have a power which is incredible. Every single one of you has been given a power that you have no idea what you can do with this. You can either use it or waste it. The decision starts tonight. The way you're going to go back home, what you're going to put on your paper and say, "This is what I'm accomplishing tomorrow." Every day ask yourself three questions before you go to sleep. What did I accomplish today? What could I have accomplished today? And how tomorrow will be better than today. You do this and you keep a tab on what you're accomplishing, you're going to be so energized. You're going to be so filled with your mission that nothing will stop you. The vision that you have for yourself as somebody that's successful financially, that's successful in their relationship, that's building their home, will become a reality. So, this is my blessing to all of you. As Hashem, as you go into this new year your relationship with yourself is in such a state of clarity and flow that you find the real person to share your life with. Good night. >> [applause]