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Heat. Heat.
[Music]
I'd like to welcome back the viewers of
Yan and Torren time to the Cabana Mitz
Foundation and our ongoing
series a word for your shabas. table and
a missa for life. This week's para has
profound
psychological maneuvers that we can use
and that modernday psychologists are
starting to realize work so
well. In the section on kashis, it's
very interesting when it's talking about
uh seafood, if you will, that's um
that's forbidden. the the the
non-permissible fish. It says you it
doesn't say thou shalt not eat um fish
that don't have a cases or sun
appear. It it doesn't merely forbid
them. It says
sheets. It's telling you that they are
to be disgusting, revolting to you.
That's what it says. And the in the
safer
para he brings the Imra shami who who
looks at the and sees this psychological
pattern. It's really something. So at
the end of y it says
um it'll be disgusting for you. Take
note that it says disgusting for you.
And then it says in the next part
it's should be I I I command you it
should be disgusting. And then it says
and it will be
disgusting. Now here's here's the hop.
Um in one of the most famous books I
think it's one of the most topselling
books in recent times is a book called
Atomic Habits. Many of you I'm sure have
heard. And he explains that uh a
discovery about how to stop smoking,
right? Terrible destructive habit. How
how does it how is it done? And so he
brings this one book where the entire
book kept talking about how horrible
smoking is for you and how it's not good
for you and how it's not good for you
and how it's horrible and just keep
repeatedly saying this is
terrible. And that that's the secret is
two
things. Um is obviously if we're doing
something that's wrong or harmful, we're
doing it for a reason. We're enjoying
it. We're getting something out of it.
Seems good to us in a certain way. So,
what we need to do is create a negative
emotional uh association. Sheck, it's
disgusting. That's what we need to do.
And that's what he did with the smoking.
But it's not just to label it that way,
but to repeat it again and again. So if
you repeatedly view for example seafood
as disgusting and revolting, guess what?
Listen to this story and you'll see
Roshilo brings the following story.
There was a man who when he was younger
uh as a young guy he was traveling in
Europe and unfortunately he had like a
yates a tya to try uh pork the
draer. So what does he do? He goes into
a restaurant in some town, takes off his
keepa Islan and orders pork. He sits
down. He's all excited to do this,
right? First fight, he starts
chewing gffish. He says, "This is
disgusting." You see, it was embedded
the negative feeling about the harmful
thing embedded in his being. Now listen,
this is a brilliant strategy was also
applied in Europe in not too long ago.
You know the Jews living amongst the
non-Jews. We all know the if a man a
Jewish man marries a non-Jewish woman,
that's it. The kids are not Jewish. So
in order to deal with this issue, what
did the Europeans do? How did they refer
to a non-Jewish woman who could be a
quite respectable person, attractive,
whatever it may be? They called her,
well, you know what? We've been using
this word sheets, right? Sheets who love
him. You know how uncleus translates
that? Shika. Sound familiar? Shika. They
took this thing that they that that
could be a horrible habit. They could
ruin their lives if they follow their
hearts and eyes. And what did they do?
They described it in a way they created
negative association. Shix disgusting
disgusting again and again. And that's
the secret. I call I I think we could
create a new spiritual psychology
movement called
Shixology. How to break negative habits
with
Shixology. Okay. So let's try let's try
to apply Shixology where we re really
need to. Okay. You know, most of us have
become accustomed to not eat non-cooser
food and we can probably just feel that
sheets. It's not for us. However,
something that we desperately need to uh
feel negative about, but we don't is I
would call this just one of the worst uh
afflictions of the Jewish people in the
past 2,000 years. You want to guess?
lush and
harra evil speech. Now, this is a
classic destructive habit. Why? If you
know, if you're upset, it feels good to
let it out and nail the person or to
make and if you're funny and you see a
like a flaw on the guy making a funny
joke and all these these things um they
are uh physically, emotionally,
psychologically attractive, but they're
disgusting. We need to become we need to
gag at the idea of speaking lash and
har. Can you imagine now? Now now we've
just shifted into the mitzvah for life.
If you're able to do this, if you're
able to to actually create negative
associations, emotionally negative
associations with lash and har. Whoa,
what a mitzvah of yours, Hashem. You're
curbing a behavior you desire because
Hashem doesn't want it. and you're using
an effective strategy. So number one, if
you do this, have in mind the miss of
number two, you get to do chuva and
you're doing chuva on habitual behavior
which says that's hard to do and it's a
profound achievement. So you can have
your hashem and chuva when you do this.
So I would like to present the this
week's acronym. What would we like to
do? We should want to gag when we start
to feel like speaking Russian and har.
And that's this week's acronym, G A G.
Gag. All right. Um, let me just present
this to
you. So, what does the G stand for? What
does the A stand for? What is the other
G?
So, GAG stands for this G. Gain
awareness. You have to you have to be on
guard when you feel that temptation to
speak something negative. So gain
awareness. A associate it with disgust.
It's disgusting. All right. I have a
terrible one for you. Okay. Imagine you
feel like uh some saying something
negative and you did gained awareness.
Now you want to associate it with
disgust. We want to change our emotional
association. How about this? Imagine a
shecket, a a a sea creature like
crawling out of your mouth when you
speak. I had a worse thing crawling out
of your mouth before, but that's
associated with disgust. Gain awareness
of when you're you might fall prey to
speak English.
A associated with
disgust. All right. And then G, get out
of the situation. Yeah, obviously you
have to shift, you have to be quiet,
talk about something else. So if you can
achieve this and please try it at home,
try it at work, try it in the base
midrash, try it in the seminary, try it
everywhere. Okay? Try to gag when you
feel like speaking. I repeat, gain
awareness of when you might want to
speak. associated with disgust and get
out of there. If you do this, it'll be
amazing. If you would like, we're going
to create a uh please God, we're going
to create a gag uh card to help us
remember to do this. What an
achievement. What an achievement would
be if we can actually stop and not do
things that were once delicious and make
them repulsive. And we do it for Hashem
and we do it with kavana for the mitzvah
and
chuva. We will be giving such nakas to
hashem. Good chabas and give this over
at your table.
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