KLM Serving Hashem from Chore to True Joy with Rabbi Asher Baruch Wegbreit

[Music] welcome back to klm not the airline but a foundation called kavanaugh le mitzvah's foundation and we're lucky to be in the ibbene base hamidrash for this year for those of you who are new the whole idea here is to connect our minds and our feelings to hashem more effectively and with profound ramifications that's what it's about okay let me ask you a rhetorical question what what would be more desirable to have a job that is extremely pleasurable it's a joy to be at work or to have a job that's a drudgery but you have a two-week vacation that's magnificent every year that you know why it's rhetorical of course you would want the job that's a great pleasure it's like a calling you would love that job for 50 weeks than two weeks of pleasure okay agreed so if that's the case i would like us we have a job here on earth we sometimes forget this but our main job is to serve hashem to connect to hashem that's our main job so i my goal tonight is that it become a distinct pleasure okay that's what we want here so in order to do that though we have to shift away from a certain behavior okay and that behavior is rushing rushing through davening rushing through the mitzvahs and doing them by rote if we want to be enjoy over the greatest job there is our job on earth we have to do something about that and i want to kind of give you a deeper look into what causes us to just here think about this right we're put on earth to seek out hashem he doesn't make it easy right we have to seek and search and our whole goal is to connect to hashem now do you want to rush through that should we be rushing through our whole purpose in earth on earth to seek out and connect hashem of course not so what causes us to do it a little bit to do our mitzvoth and daven sometimes a bit mechanically you know like i said running through what's at the root of that so it's really interesting there's a good shorash the root of what causes the problem is actually something good which is we um we do things out of a sense of obligation and the truth of matter is we must be in contact that we're obligated to do service hashem in fact but that's what kriya shema is for in the second paragraph of the krishna you say hashem i accept twice a day twice a day i accept my obligation to do your mitzvos but once you move shipped into serving that's not the approach what what happens if you pray out of a sense of obligation are you ready for something shocking the gemara in bracha says the mishna mission in bronco says anyone who makes his tofila keva meaning he does it uh he fulfills the dharvaning out of a sentence of obligation it's not a supplication it's not prayer can you believe that it's shocking if you approach it from a sense of okay i'm now about to discharge my obligation nothing happened uh just not to worry you too much uh and the halacha is that after the fact it counts but but but barely so interestingly enough this obligation nature can get us into uh well what's the problem the bartender says you feel like it's like a load on your shoulders and you just want to take the load off okay i you know i've been carrying something heavy i put it down and now i can move on to what i'd like to move on wave a boy that's not going to work that's not the way we're going to have a job i mean again our main job we don't want it to be a drudgery want it to be a joy okay so that's what we have to let's say get out of and the question is how do we get out of that right how do we move out of a drudgery or a chore i call like this a chore mindset to a joy mindset how do we get to the joy mindset so we go back to what we those who who saw the previous classes we talked about the most unbelievable to hillam mismo la soyda which is tehillim uh koof that we say two before ashrae such an incredible incredible to hillem and there by the way that is what a place to understand the um thanking from that it's just it's first of all you know who wrote it not david melech moshra bainu wrote that it was one of the eleven tehem that mosh rabeno wrote and there it the whole thing is uh is mismo soda it has the secret of how to move into a joy mindset okay so in order to discover the secret let me remind you of a scale okay okay i call this the scale of gratitude okay and i think it'll resonate when you hear it this is the bottom of the scale feeling gratitude that's not something to be scoffed at because gr feeling gratitude is battling against feeling entitled taking things for granted so to actually feel gratitude and achievement okay especially if things come all the time i i think i'm gonna tell you the hot dog story my uh i review in day school is young and every rosh kodesh in the cafeteria they served uh hot dogs so he loved hot dogs but his best friend didn't like hot dogs so he always gave him his hot dog on rosh kodesh so this went on for probably uh half a year maybe more a year and suddenly his friend says you know i decided i'm gonna have the hot dog he got so upset how how can you take away my hot dog he thought the hot dog's coming to him right he forgot it was originally a gift right so feeling gratitude when you're getting something all the time it is indeed an achievement but there's another level higher this is going to be very important for you this especially right now expressing expressing appreciation that is another madrega okay uh it's by the way this is a keystone i think to connecting to hashem is number one is this feeling gratitude but in my experience over the years the people who who connect to feeling gratitude and are the ones who connect to hashem the most okay but step number two expressing appreciation what's why is this a higher level well uh because you're bringing the other into the picture you care enough to let them know that you appreciate it now already this is great for your tafila this will help a lot if you remember i have to feel sincere gratitude and that's what i'm doing in the success and all this i'm expressing appreciation but the pinnacle the noble highest level is what do you do giving back that's the real achievement you take you you don't just feel gratitude you don't just sincerely express it you give back so with that in mind let's actually uh discover here's the secret to the joy mindset it's in the second pasuk in uh te helem couf in mismo de soda what is the second instructor for the first thing that says mismo the soyda and interesting moshe instructs shout out the whole world should shout out to hashem okay i'm not going to discuss that right now but what's his second step or in a certain sense it's the first step he says mismo de soto and then it says evdu evdu s hashem big when you understand the context here says the hovos holovavos like this what's the most profound response to gratitude of oda service a voda is in the context of gratitude i i'm gonna i i can't really exaggerate how important that is but i'm and i'm gonna try my best to explain that but that's the secret eve does hashem notice i paused there i didn't say basimka all right the simpler is the joy mindset but it starts with understanding now why why is avoda the perfect response and remember it's noble it's giving back a vote for step number one it's more than feeling it and expressing it it's giving back but here's the thing it's a response the reason it's so profound is because when you realize the following how much you owe hashem right we are very in debt we have this incredible debt of gratitude right okay now the thing is this when you realize that and if you develop your consciousness and you do and you appeal to the nobility of your soul you realize when i receive i should give back i should reciprocate that's a level that's a real level is to feel a sense of obligation and that's what david and milk says in in a different thing ma shiva hashem cold tug melo he a lie right wait how can i repay hashem for always bestowed upon me right so instead of in the chore mindset i'm obligated and you know how do i feel when i get up in the morning and i really push myself and i pray and i concentrate or i i put on to fill in or whatever i do i feel in a certain sense like i just did hashem a favor you know i was tired i got up and i your ass what i just did and i concentrated so when you realize you're dead of gratitude you realize hashem hashem understands our predicament that if we really connect to the fact how much gratitude we we need towards hashem how much we receive it's almost a burden right so hashem says i know your predicament and i'm going to give you a way to work down your debt of gratitude a voda serve me so hashem's doing us the favor we're not doing hashem a favor with a voda hashem is doing us an incredible favor right because he's giving us a chance to work it back to work it down some now i and that's removing your debt of gratitude is a source of joy and i want to explain it with i think a very good example it this foundation that i've started it's only uh about a year and a half old so i'm working with a team of people who out of the kindness of their heart and their thank god their belief in the cause i'm working with volunteers and i have one friend who works with me he gives an hour he works and everything he has he gives me an hour every morning to help me prepare the materials and format the materials using his skill set and every single morning for about a year right so about a week ago he says to me um do you mind if we take 10 minutes out of uh you know our session for you to give me some advice on a project do i mind i said do i mind are you kidding i am so glad you asked me you had you're constantly doing is you asked me for 10 minutes i think i i was really happy to have that chance i'm sure people have these experiences where you know someone who's doing so much and they go you're you're hoping they'll ask you for a favor they're hoping they'll they'll ask you something so that's the that's it so we have to realize that that's what's taking place it's like hashem is doing and doing and doing and doing and doing and he says do you mind now let me explain this because i don't want us to get an incorrect understanding about hashem okay we have to understand and this is also foundational that hashem doesn't need anything and and what we're talking about now really underscores it he just gives us this thing called a voda so we can accept experience rejoice in his gifts and not feel like i you know like burdened by by the debt of gratitude right so we when we say hashem can you do me a favor he doesn't need favors in the deepest sense of that word but okay but hashem says can you know can you do this can you serve me right so this will move us into the joy set but it's not it's not as sim it's pretty simple if you get this down but it's not quite as simple as i just said because we have a problem okay i call it the fedex delivery man problem you know i mean it's the fedex delivery man problem okay we don't we don't fully realize i i thought of a new word feel lies we don't feel lies fully how much how how much he's giving us why because the fedex delivery man problem okay let me explain let's say uh you uh i get a knock at my door i'll make it me okay i get a knock at my door and lo and behold it's a fedex delivery man and he has a package that has a watch in it uh for me right so you know he comes he has the board i'm supposed to sign the uh right sign the board that i received the gift so anyhow i happened to open it up before you know i signed so he's right in front of me i open it up and i look at it so it's a really nice watch and i go up to a minute and i give him a big hug i say thank you so much for this watch it's beautiful and i love the car i'm like hugging the delivery so if he's normal he's gonna will you calm down i'm just delivering it i didn't send you to the watch i didn't choose and send it i'm busy hugging we're doing that if we think that's fine we're doing that all the time right we have to realize now listen to what the gemara says when a gomorrah set teaches you something it means that you want it's you wouldn't have understood that naturally ready it says the following statement you need to thank the waiter but the wine is is comes from the owner okay you need to thank the waiter but the wine is from the owner so we have to realize every uh our friends our wives our spouses everybody is a fedex delivery man and you need to thank them and be sincere and by the way it's a training ground for appreciation to hashem however who sent it who sent it the the the preponderance of our gratitude needs to go to the sender okay so i practiced this i did a exercise in uh uh connect uh connecting back to the sender i did this because i about to teach you so uh two mornings ago my son pointed out that my glasses like slipped down he was watching the yip in a video he says you know you need to fix your glasses so here's what i here's what happened as early as in the morning okay i got onto a bus now the bus i'm very fortunate because the bus there's a bus stop right in front of my apartment okay i get on the bus and the bus route takes me um a short short walk to where i need to go the eyeglass door right so thank thank you eged for the bus route being there and thank you bus driver and you should you know ta-da raba right but thank you hashem for making it so easy for me it's like i had i had my own car or a taxi he made it thank you hashem right hug the hug the sender right so then i get there and i show it to him and he decides that it's a minor thing so he says he does it for free thank you i glass adjuster but thank you hashem you know you did you you adjusted my glasses for see for free then i went got a nice coffee i love the iced coffee no thank you the ones who hand me the ice club thank you but thank you hashem so i realized you hear if you instead of thinking this person did something for me that one did something for me that one that one so it's diffused you're a pr your recognition of your debt of all the good hashem is diffused by thinking it's the delivery person as opposed to the center so what i realized and this was just like an hour and a half in the morning i realized you know hashem you know gave me a chauffeur drive exactly to my location he fixed my glasses for free he got me an iced coffee got me back in time i felt good you hear if you do this if you trace back and thank the delivery person you trace back to the sender set the the sender of all this then you say ma how can i repay hashem how can i do it he he give it for all that he gives me so you really understand all that he's giving and then you realize you're thrilled ready hashem assume you're thrilled to be do you mind uh 10 minutes would you mind helping me for 10 minutes that relatively speaking it's like my friend constantly helping me says do you mind 10 minutes that's what hashem's doing with our voters hashem do you have a few minutes you know to help as if to help me out here okay what we're going to do right now is review this because i want you to try to master the uh going from the chore mindset to the joy mindset and i have a poster email me if you'd like a copy uh let's take a look and some okay here's a way to um let's say begin to master this approach what we want to do is when serving hashem is move from mature to joy right so what you see on the top row is what i call the chore mindset and what results as a result right from a chore mindset i said that the interesting that we start with a good understanding we relate to service of hashem as an obligation and it is so that's a good route but that goes off because you need to switch gears when you start serving okay so we relate to it as obligation as a result we feel like we're doing hashem a favor okay and then what's if i'm doing him a favor and it's an obligation then it's very vulnerable to becoming a chore sponger mopping the house and that's why we often run through things mindlessly and we said connecting to hashem is why we're here so we don't want to rush and uh through that so that's the chore mindset now let me trace this backwards this is where we want to end up we want to serve hashem with joy right okay how do we achieve that it's by feeling thrilled to give back we have to feel thrilled about the opportunity to give back to hashem okay see the little kid is giving a gift to her her mommy all right how do we feel wow this is such a an opportunity i have we have to recognize we are showered with hashem's gifts and goodness showered inundated so we feel like wow i wish i had a way to thank him but to to to connect to that to feliz that to really really connect to that we have to overcome our uh physical perception right because we often mistake the ones who are delivering hashem's goodness with the senders that they provided the goodness and they're wonderful and they should be also embraced for it but really we have to realize it's a shen if you will sending a sending out delivery trucks full of goodness for us and if we realize that that'll get us in this cycle right we we recognize how much it is wow that's a lot so wow i wish i had a chance to give back and then ibra okay hashem should help us integrate this and live this [Music] is