Your Father’s Friend

Okay, this week is parshas Acharei Mos. And Kedoshim. It's not a short two parshas. And I would like to do something different. I would like to try to touch on an inyan that will have meaning for both for both parshas. Both for um for parshas Acharei Mos and for parshas Kedoshim. Two different inyanim that I think have a uh an underlying connection. So, in parshas Acharei Mos there's a fascinating halacha which was relevant when the Yidden were in the Midbar. By Revi. Where Hakadosh Baruch Hu tells Moshe to share with Aaron and his children and the whole Klal Yisrael the following very important statement. You know it's an important statement when it starts with Zeh Hadavar Asher Tziva Hashem. And it says the following halacha. Perek Zayin Pasuk Gimmel. It says that any Jew, Ish Ish Mi Beit Yisrael that will shecht an animal in the machaneh, in the camp, instead of bringing it as a korban in the Mishkan, or outside the camp and he doesn't bring it to the doorway of the Ohel Moed to bring a korban to Hashem in front of the Mishkan of Hashem. Listen to these strong strong strong words. Dam Yechashev Lo Ish Ahu. It will be considered blood for that man. Dam Shofach. He spilled blood. That is a very very very strong statement. That if a person wants to eat meat, and instead of bringing a carbon and using the parts of the carbon that that are eaten by the bylim, and instead he just shechts the animal, a kosher shrita, but he shechts the animal at home instead of bringing it to the base hamikdash, it's as if he killed someone. Such an interesting comparison. What is the What is the idea here? Now, once they went into Eretz Yisrael, this halacha changed and became because of you know, the simp- simply what the pasuk says in parshas Re'eh is that because of the size of Eretz Yisrael, it was not practical that every time you need to eat dinner, you have to go bring a carbon at the base hamikdash. So, the halacha changed, and of course it is really is much much deeper than that as we've discussed in the past. But for today, I want to focus today's parshas Acharei Mos, not parshas Re'eh. What does it mean that it's as if he spilled blood? Rashi says, "K'shofeich dam adam." It's as if he spilled the blood of a man she mischayev b'nafsho. Unbelievable. And to add to the to the pella here, the Medrash Tanchuma brings a pasuk in the end of sefer Yeshayahu. The pasuk says, "Shocheit hashar makeh ish." He who slaughters the ox killed a man. Also a cryptic pasuk. And the Medrash Tanchuma says two possible explanations. The first explanation it says is that it's referring to our parsha. That someone who shechts an ox not and does not bring it to the base hamikdash in the times of the midbar, it's as if he killed a man. The second shat that the Tanchuma says is that it's referring to somebody who steals from somebody else. He shafts his axe. He took something that didn't belong to him. And Hazal explain that someone who steals from his friend is as if he killed him. And that also seems to demand some explanation. We're certainly not pro stealing things, but why is it considered as if you killed the person? Okay. Ad can parshas acharei mot. Let's talk for a few minutes about parshas kedoshim. In parshas kedoshim we have a passuk that we're going to see tonight is not just one passuk among the many instructions of parshas kedoshim, but it serves as a foundation for the entire Torah. And that passuk is the passuk of ve'ahavta lere'acha kamocha. The passuk says ve'ahavta lere'acha, you should love your friend kamocha, like you, like you love yourself. And the Gemara in Bava Metzia 31 daf lamed aleph amud aleph tells us a story about a guy who wanted to become Jewish. And he came in front of Shammai and he said, "Make me into a ger." But he was um he was you know, he had a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a His tnai was al menat she tilamdeni kol haTorah kulah kshe'ani omed al regel achas. "Teach me the whole Torah while I'm standing on one foot." Now, what exactly he was trying to accomplish here is uh uh certainly, you know, something that I would love to uh to get into and I can get into tonight. I do want to say that part of the idea of teach me the whole Torah while I'm standing on one foot is that he wants the one foundation, not the two foundations. He wants the one foundation of the entire Torah. But, the simple try it is that he was like, "Hurry up and say it now while I'm standing on one foot." Um Shammai was very unhappy. Shammai did not consider that an appropriate way to ask about um about such a um g- you know, such a serious topic as as joining Klal Yisrael that he would refer to it in such a um such a light, quick way. So, Shammai gave him a push with a some kind of measuring rod. Dakhfei b'ammah savinyan sh'biyadei. So, he decided to approach Hillel. Bol ifnei Hillel, he came in front of Hillel. And Hillel um was prepared to be megayer him. Hillel did not send him away. And Hillel said to him, "The whole Torah on one foot." "What's the whole Torah on one foot?" Amar la he said to him, "De'alakh sani, this that you hate, l'chavercha lo yisaeid, do not do to your friend." Zu hi kol haTorah kulah. That is the entire Torah. V'idakh peirushah, the rest of the Torah is the explanation of that. Zil g'var, go learn it. And this Gemara has intrigued Klal Yisrael since it was taught because while again, nobody would argue with the importance of a person treating his friend in a manner that he would want to be treated is certainly an important thing. But, how eating matzah on the night of Pesach is an explanation to that, how shaking a lulav on Sukkot is an explanation to that, how putting on tfillin when you down in shacharit in the morning is an explanation to that is very mysterious. What does it have to do with with the entire world of Torah that's been Adam Makom that's between man and Baruch? This is a big big big question. And Rashi addresses the question. And Rashi addresses the question by bringing a passuk in Mishlei. The passuk in Mishlei says the following and this is a very very very inspiring Rashi, but you can only be inspired by something if you have some connection and understanding of it. Just random inspiring phrases, I know it's become popular today to throw random inspiring phrases, but that's not true inspiration. Rashi says in Mishlei Perek Zion, it says the following passuk. It says Re'acha your friend V're'a Avicha and your father's friend Al Ta'azov, do not abandon. Says Rashi, and this is this comes from Chazal among other places, it's a measure of Parshas Yisro. Says Rashi, Zeh Kodesh Baruch, you know who's your friend and your father's friend? Kodesh Baruch. Kodesh Baruch is your best friend. And when Kodesh Baruch tells you to do something, listen to him as you would want to be listened to. V'ahavta l're'acha kamocha, love your friend like yourself. And just like you would want to be listened to, listen to Kodesh Baruch. That's where Rashi goes on to say, Al Ta'avor Al D'varav, don't violate his words Sh'arei Olecha Sonu Ya'avor Chavercha Al D'varav because you wouldn't like if your friend didn't listen to what you said. That is the Rashi. That's the That's the Rashi says. So, this really needs something more. To say just like take a step back here to say that when the Torah says to love your friend like yourself, it includes the entire Torah because Hashem is also your friend. And then that's what Rashi says. It still like begs the question like is that what the person is saying? Is that the message? And why am I calling Hashem my friend here? What What is this adding to my understanding of my relationship with Hashem? It's not like before I found out Hashem was my best friend. I thought I didn't have to listen to him. What What's going on here? What What's the meaning of this? Also, I know I so far just asked a lot of questions. Bear with me. Also, >> [clears throat] >> why are we calling Hashem my father's friend? The point is that he's my friend. Why Why is the person saying your friend and your father's friend? What's this idea that it's the of you? So, the magic in history tells us who it means when it says your father's friend. It doesn't mean my father's friend or your father's friend. It means our father's friend. Our father meaning Abraham Avinu. Says the magic in history the of you. re'eh avicha zu Avraham Avinu." Your friend and your father's friend, your the father that it's referring to when it says your father's friend, that is Avraham Avinu. Now, if we think about, if we understand a little bit about the role that Avraham Avinu played in the world, we can begin to start having the key to understanding what the point is here. Avraham Avinu was the first man to, on his own, from his very wise analysis of the world around him, to discover Hakadosh Baruchu. Hiker as by re, he discovered Hashem. But when we say that I could that Avraham Avinu discovered Hashem, it's important to know then and hello, we've gone through this sugi in the past. It's important to know that we're not just describing Avraham Avinu's genius. He was so smart that he discovered Hashem. Because there probably were other smart people alive at the time, and they did not discover Hashem. And the reason for that is that, as we all know, our minds are sometimes beholden to our desires. And sometimes we see and understand things from a very selfish and personal vantage point. We see, as the saying goes, what we want to see. We have a confirmation bias, like they say. The general attitude towards gods in those days. There were multiple gods. And this went through generations. But the general attitude was that I want to be happy and successful and have children and I want my cows to not die and I want my crops to grow and I don't want dangerous storms to come and blow my house down. So, therefore, I better make friends with the gods. >> [clears throat] >> And I will serve those gods that and I will worship those gods whose help I need to be safe and successful. And that is an attitude of of idolatry, an attitude of of worship. Avraham Avinu discovered a Hashem that the relationship with Hashem was not in order to make me happy or successful. Now, it may be true that a good relationship with Hashem makes me happy and successful. That may be true, but that's not the point or the purpose. And this is because of the unbelievable generosity of spirit of Avraham Avinu that he was prepared to discover a god whose worship is a all-encompassing life's mission. A person has to be ready to make that discovery. Hazal tell us as we learned as we learn Torah as when we learn the Maseches Avodah Zarah, Hazal tell us that in the Maseches Avodah Zarah of Avraham Avinu, there were 400 prakim. Our Maseches Avodah Zarah has five prakim. So, there were an extra 395 prakim. Maseches Avodah Zarah is a Maseches that tells you how to serve Hashem and only Hashem. Right? And in Avraham Avinu's Maseches Avodah Zarah, it was so expanded that it wasn't just about other gods, in quotes, but it was about other values or other priorities or even the desire to be rich and famous could also be a god. And Avraham Avinu so clarified what service of Hashem needs. You know, the word Avodah Zarah doesn't mean idolatry, it means a a strange service. A not appropriate service. And Avraham Avinu had such a sophisticated Maseches Avodah Zarah that even searching for money or prestige or pleasure were Avodah Zarahs. Avraham Avinu had such a generosity of spirit that he was able to discover a Hashem to whom to give his entire existence to. To make himself an absolute servant of Hashem that there wasn't a there wasn't a a cell in his body that wasn't prepared and ready to be to devote it himself completely to the service of Hashem. That's not just intelligence, that's a generosity of spirit. And I'm using that term generosity of spirit because of a Rashi and Maseches Chagigah Daf Gimel Amud Aleph that Reb Avraham Crohn pointed out to me many years ago when we were talking about this Sugya that when Rashi describes that Avraham Avinu is called a Nadiv, he's called a generous person. Because Avraham Avinu was known for his kindness, for his Chesed, for his Midah of Chesed Chesed L'Avraham. So if I was to translate why Avraham Avinu was generous, I would say because he fed them Malachim. I would talk about all the acts of kindness of Avraham Avinu. But Rashi does not say that. You remember the Rashi over there? Rashi says Al shame, you know why he's called generous? Because his heart was generous la hakir birei to recognize his creator. What a deep Rashi. Rashi is saying that to have the clarity to recognize that I am in the service of a Hashem and that is an all-encompassing responsibility. And that by the time I'm I fully absorbed my job in this world, I realize that there's no part of my life that's outside of that. That every aspect of my life is included in that service of Hashem to be able to give oneself over in such a selfless way is not just a matter of wisdom, it's a matter of generosity. It's a pella, right? And it's a selflessness. It's not leaving over any self. It's not allowing for what about me. And I have to be happy. We'll talk more about that later. And therefore and this is something that that's that's unbelievable. And therefore, it's not a shock to us that Avraham Avinu is also the Av of Chesed. The Av of Chesed doesn't just mean and I've told you this is something that's very important because we like in today's day and age to make everything sound pretty and nice. So, Avraham Avinu is the man of Chesed because he was a super nice guy. And that's a bizayon to Avraham Avinu. Certainly, he was a nice person. There are many thousands of nice people. The fact that he was the Av of Chesed means that his entire identity was for others. Not for me. I'm here to serve. I am selfless. I'm here to provide and to serve and to and to and to contribute. That's my entire being. So, if he was Nad V'ai Libai, if he had the generosity of spirit to discover a Hashem whose Avodah is all-encompassing, that means that he has the generosity of spirit to be able to make selflessness and giving to others a part of his identity. It's the same thing. It comes together. >> [snorts] [clears throat] >> Now, listen to the Gemara. The Ger comes to Hillel and he says, "Teach me the whole Torah on one foot." And Hillel says, "What for all intents and purposes is the Pasuk of V'ahavta L'rei'acha Kamocha." V'ahavta L'rei'acha Kamocha is not this kind of cute Pasuk in Parshas Kedoshim that says, "Love your fellow man." It's a life's mission. That my Rei'a is like me. >> [clears throat] >> I'm not leaving room for what about me. Because you are like me. Because I am here to do the right thing and to be selfless. And in the same way as I'm responsible for myself, I'm responsible for you. There's no what about me, I come first, I'm more important. It's Kamocha. Not only that, you know what I discovered? I I was I'm so excited about this because I suggested this. Hello, you might even remember. I suggested this years ago and tonight I discovered that there's a letter from Rav Hutner that is a transcript of something, I think it was a speech that he gave in memory of Reb Chaim Shmulevitz when he was nifter. And he says that when it says Re'acha Vere'a Avicha, your friend and your father's friend, the word Re'a, which means friend, you know, I always had this kasha. The word Re'a means friend, right? And the word Ra, spelled exactly the same way, means evil. How do you explain that? It's a problem, no? That's a problem. And I discovered, because of that question, a very deep insight. And that is that the word Ra, the word evil, comes from the word to write aim or a tru'a on Rosh Hashanah. We blow a tru'a. A tru'a is a broken up sound. Because evil comes when things are pulled apart, are broken. That's what That's what what evil is. When everything is shalem and whole, that's good. And when things are torn apart, that's Ra. So, Ra comes from the lishon of a tru'a. To write aim beshevet barzel in the beginning of Sefer Tehillim, to shatter something. And you know what a friend is? A friend, you know what you are to me? You're a part of me. You're a Re'a. You're a shard of the of of of me I'm a shard and you're a shard and together we form a keili. A Re'a and Ra, the reason why they're the same word, is cuz Ra means a piece, cuz a piece alone is bad. But a friend means a piece of me. Re'acha Vere'a Avicha Altazek, don't abandon a piece of yourself and the piece of your father. What's part of you. And isn't that Avraham Avinu? Avraham Avinu is the one who taught us that Hakadosh Baruchu is a part of me. And my friends are a part of me. And my family is a part of me. There's no me separate from you. And there's no me separate from Hashem. I'm as responsible to you as I am to me, kamochah, like you. In fact, even my responsibility to me, Rebbe points out, that even my responsibility to be the real tzaddik, even when he takes care of his own body, when the tzaddik takes care of his own body, he doesn't take care of his own body because hey, listen, you know, I got to leave some room for me. He takes care of his body because Hakadosh Baruch Hu gave this body to me, and it's my responsibility to take care of it. Chazal use a pasuk, an unbelievable pasuk, go'el nafsho ish chesed. When you give to yourself, you're doing chesed because there's no me out of selfishness. I take care of me cuz that's my responsibility, and I take care of you cuz that's my responsibility. The Ahavat Yisrael kamochah, even the kamochah is a chesed. Go'el nafsho ish chesed. It's not like, okay, listen, this I got to draw a line, I got to take care of me. Yeah, of course I have to take care of me cuz that's part of my service. Because if there's no me, I can't do anything. So, part of my service to Hashem is also taking care of me. It's not like, hey, listen, we got to draw the line somewhere. No, it's all encompassing. Even taking care of me is my service to Hashem. Go'el nafsho ish chesed. Is that not incredible? Do you understand that that means that when that ger stood in front of Hillel, Hillel gave him a mission in life, a mission in life that you want to know and I'm standing on one foot what Judaism is? You want to know what the whole Torah is? The whole Torah here is I am here to serve. If it's not good for me, it's not good for you. Because I am here to serve. I am You want to know Judaism in one word? Unselfish. That's my >> [clears throat] >> That's the whole Says Rashi, when we say unselfish, it's not to the exclusion of just like my friend is a part of me. Of course is a part of me. And that's why we bring cuz he's the one that gave us that mission. Re Al Taza. Now this body that gave us He gave it to us so we should It's not We don't look at it that I have a neshama. That's his department. And I have a body. That's my department. Excuse me, but this part is mine. No, we don't look at it that way. infused our body with a neshama And our job is to bring both the neshama and the body into the world of serving Hashem. So when I want to eat meat in the midbar I want to show that I'm not here to eat meat separate from my responsibilities to I'm here to eat meat with an understanding that that too that too is part of my responsibility. Even the part of me that's taking care of me is part of serving you. And therefore the says don't just bring a selfish carbon by your tent. Bring the carbon to the Mishkan. Serve the carbon by the Mishkan and show that even the physical part of you is part of your spirituality. And if you don't do that if you don't do that, you're denying your your uprooting the connection between the neshama and the body. You're separating the body. Now, isn't that true? You're separating the body from the neshama. What do we call someone who separates a body from a neshama? We call that person a murderer. Cuz life is when the neshama and the guf are fused together. So, that's why the pasuk says dam shafach, you spilled [snorts] blood. Blood is the place where the nefesh is, right? That's a pasuk, right? Hu hanefesh. Blood, that represents the chiyus, the the life spirit in a person. And when a person takes his body and moves it away from Hakadosh Baruchu, away from his ruchniyus, he has separated his life spirit from his body. But if a person includes even his physical body in serving Hakadosh Baruchu, so then he has bound together his neshama and his guf, and that's a living person. And that's why it says, what's the lashon shor shachat? Shocheit hashor makeh ish. If you shacht the shor not bringing it to the Beis Hamikdash, it's like you killed a man, cuz you separated his physicality from his ruchniyus. And the same thing is true of stealing from a person. And this is the I'm going to end in a minute, but this is an unbelievable lesson. Rav Tzadok Hakohen mi Lublin in the Sifrei Tzidkas HaTzaddik says that everything that you own is a part of your chiyus, it's a part of your life spirit. Because Hakadosh Baruchu brought you into this world and he gave you a job. And being a good boss, he gave you everything you need to do that job. And that means that everything that you have, the assets that you have, the possessions that you have, everything that you have down to the last pen has been given to you by Hashem to service the responsibilities of your neshama. And therefore, if somebody would steal that from you, they're taking some of your life away. They're taking away the ability that you have to serve Hashem, the ability that you have to take those physical things and to use them in the service of Hashem. And that's why that's the second shot. Shar shachat, you know, the person that shachts an animal, the person that shacheit hashor, makeh ish, if you take someone's ax away, you killed them. That's a That's not valuing the fact that that person's ax is not just an ax, it's a part of his life. It's a part of the physical things that Hashem gave him to serve Hashem. And in that way, I think that we've accomplished explaining a very important yesod that shows itself in different ways, both in parshas acharei mos, and in parshas kedoshim. And I want to point out that there's a sense when you talk about this, and you talk about the an all-encompassing giving oneself over to others, or to Hakadosh Baruchu, which is all the same thing, v'ahavta l'rei'acha kamocha, giving ourselves over to the service of Hashem, that there's a certain panic that a human being has because we are ingrained It's ingrained when with within us as human beings to think, "What about me? I got to take care of myself." And the truth is that's how we're born. When a baby is born, there are very few creatures in this world as selfish as a newborn baby. And that selfishness remains even when that baby's 3, 4, 5 years old. You know, there's nothing nothing um you know, Dr. Hack might like a the the occasional lollipop, but what when a child wants a lollipop, everything has to stop. That's a different relationship with a lollipop. Everything What? >> At a funeral. >> I'm hoping so. But anyway, >> [laughter] [gasps] >> it's part of the Hashem, you know? >> [clears throat] >> But anyway, but it's it's um when when a child wants something, nothing else matters, right? True? Nothing else matters than what that child wants. There's nothing else more important. It's absolute selfishness. And you know something? We love it because that's exactly age-appropriate for that child. That's exactly where he should be. He should be wanting to be happy, and we should be trying to make him happy. But as a child develops and becomes a teenager and becomes older, we have a mission in our Hinukh, [snorts] which is to teach that child that he's not the center of the universe. And to teach him that there are others and to be sensitive to the needs of others and the and the and the sensitivities of others. And then ultimately to become sensitive to a broader all-encompassing mission in life that that that in life we have a mission and to be able to appreciate that. Okay? And for that it's just I want to mention a very important thing. Because Hakadosh Baruch Hu created us to serve, conventional wisdom is the more I serve, the less happy I'll be and the more I focus on my own happiness, the more happy I'll be. But life has shown look around the world. Life has shown that that's not the case. The more a person empties themselves out for others and for Hashem, the more full they are. And the more a person just focuses on filling himself, the more empty he is. Cuz that's a broken kaili. A person that says, "What about me? What about me? What about me?" And it's all about making myself happy, find those people and I promise you you will find that they are not happy. Because a person whose focus in life is filling the black hole that's me, it's it never it's never filled. But a person, instead of focusing on me, puts himself aside like Avraham Avinu did, and makes his values and the value of service and the value of giving and the value of being an eved Hashem the most important value, and he doesn't ask himself what about me, he asks himself what can I give, there's nobody fuller and happier than that person.